xXx: Return of Xander Cage

Welcome (back) to the Xander Zone!  Vin Diesel returns and so do we, as we cover Drew's favorite, and the third and final installment of the xXx series.

We are joined this week by youth pastor, standup comedian, world yo-yo champion, and our friend John Datoy!

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The Quarter Mile Podcast
Drew Davis
CJ Walton

Special Guest:

John Datoy

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Chapters

• 0:35 Welcome Back and Meet John Datoy!
• 8:33 xXx Response Recap from Ken
• 18:58 Movie Overview
• 26:32 Movie Reviews
• 31:46 AI Plot Summary (Xander Cage)
• 34:00 Our Movie Review
• 43:19 2 Fast 2 Furious Rating
• 45:51 CJ's Best Bits (Drew-4, CJ- 7)
• 51:13 Outro and Final Plugs

Transcript

[Music]
Welcome back guys to Quarter Mile podcast where you live your life a quarter
mile at a time. I am one of your host, CJ Walton. I'm so excited. Welcome back.
Welcome back. Like, we're back. Welcome back to your house. We did it. We're back again.
I know. What's with us together. I'm your other host, Drew Davis. He's here.
Right here in the same seat as I was a few weeks ago but for you guys it was just last week.
We have an amazing other guest for you guys. I know you guys are like who is the
the main that's why you watch this podcast is basically people we bring and we have another amazing person.
It's my little brother who's doing big things like all around the United States of America and then beyond.
So let's do do we have like an applause? I don't want one. I don't think it probably please.
I'll do it. I'll do it. Yay! Give it up for a comedian and like everything in the whole world.
It's my little brother. I mean, I'm just saying you know. It's good to be here.
Also. Oh, no, it's you. I mean, it's been it's been good. I've been doing a lot. I'm a you.
Really have. Yeah. Wait, I didn't know that. I missed that. No, I did see you get ordained.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a minister to teenagers out of McGavick high school. Nice. Are you okay?
No, they're good. They're awesome. They're good. They're actually funnier than most open my comedians. Of course. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. They're like, I could never do that. Like when I sit be a youth after a day, be like, oh, you do comedy.
I could never do that. And I'm like, I'm like, I've met some people that do it and you could do it.
Yeah. And the thing is that like, so there's like this girl. I'm gonna call her Katie. Like she's been like deciding if she wants to break up for a boyfriend or not.
And the whole group knows it. And then like she made fun of like one of the boys and he's like, don't you have like a boyfriend? You should break up.
I love that. And like all the other youth ministers like horrified. Like that's amazing.
So John, your youth pastor, your comedian, have we talked about that yet? He's a comedian. Yeah. I'm amazing.
Yeah. I'm a little bit of that. I just got back from Minnesota and that was pretty fun.
Yeah. You did. You did the loons on the lake comedy fest. I mean, how was it?
It was amazing. It would have changed, changed my life, honestly. So yeah. It did. So how are you, Erkene? Can you say more about that if you don't mind?
Yeah. I just might like, well eventually get to talk about triple X to their turn. That's where we will, but that's not where we're on the the John zone right now.
Yeah. I'm like, I'm excited about that. Well, like, I've always like wanted to like explore different avenues that are not traditional to comedy clubs and venues.
So like that's cruises that schools and churches. And they had agents there that I met with. And hopefully I'll be like signing with one pretty soon.
Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. And then I also met the lady from JFL Fresh Faces, which is choose there. And honestly, like it was really cool because like they have the
competition, but then they have showcases. Yeah. And I actually think that like what they did, which they held like an industry panel, which is kind of like Comic-Con. But like it's they only invite that you laugh.
True. I mean, you're right. Like, it's like they bring any questions and they can just ask as raw and brutal questions is as possible.
And one of the most raw questions that like I heard was from a comedian that's kind of like me. I do yo yo he's like, how do you not be pigeonholed is like only a one nighter like that you can work a week. Yeah. And like,
great question. And I've always wanted asset to industry without like sounding like I was bitter. Right.
Nice to hear that going towards industry that like more so as an economy club owner, but like industry that will help you get into these.
What was that? What was their answer? What did they say?
Their answer was that like you just got to be so good that they can't deny you in that's that's the answer media. And that's for honestly just your act to like if your act is strong, it stands test time. So.
But it's like you there's so many factors as to whether it's successful routine, but I feel like the one that is kind of as a cross board is do people laugh when you tell jokes. Yeah.
Exactly.
Okay. So comedian youth pastor also do you want to talk briefly about being a yo yo. I am. Yeah. I'm a yo yo champion. So you bring it. Yeah. It's in my backpack over there.
So I always have a case for me. I always people ask like when I bring a backpack, they're like, are you ex-military because it's a bill. Right. It is.
I'm like, yeah, I carry a gun with me. We're a regular.
It's like no, I just it's the only thing that properly fits my yo your case about clanking or that's awesome. It looks like I wish I wish they would have had in this in this movie and his crew of people with amazing.
Like DJ, then a sharp shooter.
The new yo yo person.
I mean, dude, that is that complete weapon. Right. Like I think it would be cool. I think triple X extreme.
Yeah, you're like that's yeah, now that's hot. That is. No, I'm I'm really proud of everything you've been doing. I can't like you.
Thank you. You've been doing what nightland loony. You were on. You've been doing a lot. Yeah. I mean, honestly, like the last year's been kind of crazy.
Because my wife had a really big year. The previous year. And they kind of like kicked me in a gear. I'll just do offer or something or she did. She did actually she actually did the rhyme and with Nate. So she's saying.
Yeah. Yeah. Just a little child. Now I was a part of their engagement. You know, just laying out. I was the one of the people that was the part of the game.
Oh, I'm sorry. We name dropping on the parts that we had to do with John and Paul's wedding. I'm just saying.
Because I'm pretty sure I can be. Oh, you you were around their engagement. I officiated their wedding.
Guess what? I was the one who was doing this with the camera when he said, will you? So now I signed their marriage.
You took it.
Well, you said you're a shut up. I sign their minutes. It looks like this is a dumb. This is dumber than our regular week.
We're gonna figure out who loves who loves John more. Yeah. We're fighting over. I met his mother. Okay. You win.
I was already.
One of the questions we always like to ask our new guest is and you can answer either or. Yeah. We know it's a fast, furious theme podcast.
So the original question is to be like, what's your relationship with fast and furious? But we've branched out. So if you prefer, you can also answer what's your question to like triple X.
I could do both. Yeah.
I mean, like I was probably about 10 when it started when the French I started. I watched mainly the ones of Paul Walker and then I think it was fast seven or fast six. That was the last one of the flashback with the Wiz Khalifa song that like was everywhere.
And after that, I'm not gonna lie. I kind of fell off just because like I kind of hard had a hard time following the spin offs.
Yeah. But I also like the weird thing they did in Tokyo. Because in Yolanda, that was one of the most popular songs for like two years. Yeah.
Because so many Japanese people play with Yolanda.
That is a cool song. It's a good intro song. It's like throughout this whole thing. That whole franchise, the music has honestly been on point every soundtrack.
I watched the first movie. I had a huge crush on Asia Argento, which was his, I was a character when I was like. Was that his lady in the first one? Yeah. The other undercover person. Yeah. She was cute. She was pretty.
Turns out she's also pretty awful.
You should read about that online.
That's horrible. That's fun. I didn't know that. Now I'm going to. Yeah. But like I just had like a huge crush. Because it was a girl in my school who looked like her.
Like a young version of them like, man, I'm going to marry this girl. And then like, that's how I, that's why I first liked that movie. But then like I watched it more. I'm like, this is actually pretty dope movie. Yeah.
I watched it in the union, which is like, I thought it was okay. You know, there's some fun stuff from like the heat, you know, the heat signal scene when they're like, oh, he's not in.
Just a bunch of frozen peas in this bathtub. Yeah. And I thought that was crazy. But the third was it was good. It was good.
Yeah. Yeah. Before we get into talking about the third installment of triple X, a friend of the podcast Ken who's been with us in season one. He actually.
He was the one who gave me that idea to cover torque back in season two.
Oh, this is a fun and dumb movie. I did not realize what a big triple X fan Ken was. So of course, of course, we, you know, we record episodes every other week. So he's record two episodes. So when we dropped the first triple X.
He, when he saw it, he gave me real time reactions to it. These are some real time reaction comments from Ken about triple X.
That's a weird thing to say. I mean, because that goes into what I'm going into next.
Yeah. And being it weren't being like, I, because I ran in the movie that rewatch it. I'm like, like, movie, but triple X, Vin Diesel movie.
Like, or like when I emailed you, here's the link to triple X. Yeah.
My work is like, are you watching adult movies? So you're some thoughts from Ken. I thought they were very fun. So I'd like to share with you all.
I remembered I watched F seven and triple X on the same day. And I said I was getting my double dose of VD.
Hello. You know what? Can I love you?
It was very funny. Then here's something I didn't know at the time, but we talked about later, but he's like in regards to triple X. He said I can't believe neither of you mentioned that a stuntman died in the zip line scene under the bridge scene.
Did you guys know that about the first triple X? There was a call that literally died doing a stunt.
But in this movie, so Zander Cage has more tattoos because he's older and top. Right. Yeah. It's suffering on his legs.
Oh, yeah. On his leg. He's got a tattoo with guy's name and the date. That was the dude that passed away from the stunt.
Oh, that's cool. So that's kind of thing. That's on the back of his leg. Yeah. I saw that. Okay. I was wondering what that was. Okay.
So then also when we reviewed triple X, we were making fun of like how like, oh man, he so we liked all the extreme sports and how that played into the action sequences.
Then what we made fun of was an apparently that made him a good marksman as well. Like we don't understand how to do knew how to do it.
But we messed a part of the movie where they did explain why he was such a good marksman and they explained how he was such a good marksman by saying that he broke his leg and spent some time in bed playing first man shooters, which doesn't make any sense. But that was the.
Yeah. It was like gig wants to cancel PlayStation in the games and I'm like, all right.
And then one of the things we talked about, probably again in the first triple X was how this seemed to be like the tryout for Samuel Ljaxon to be.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. But here's an interesting fact. And I do think there's probably still movie wise was what helped them keep their eye like they have. Oh man, he really could do this.
But Samuel Ljaxon was used as the model for Nick Fury in the ultimate Marvel comic books since 2001 before triple X came out. He wasn't as permission before they started drawing him like that.
But it's been widely acknowledged. And so he was the obvious choice when they wanted to make the event.
Right. But that because if you go back and look at the comics and look at that, that's it's sad. Yeah, it is. Yeah. And then like it's all the facial stuff too that they were like doing.
That was clearly the veins. The veins of the possible. But it was it was interesting. Did you guys catch the end of this movie when he came back? He had like the high pass. Yeah, I noticed that.
Yeah, if I were only give one edit to the movie it'd be it'd be the ending really. Yeah, we'll talk about.
Yeah, I do have a comment.
Full disclosure, I thought this one blew the other two out of the water. Really. I almost want to take back all the two fast rankings I've given since the beginning of the season because what happened because this movie and then the woman we're covering next week.
I absolutely after I watch them look, oh, this is what this is what a two fast rating feels like. But see, John, the thing is is so our first season we covered fast and furious movies and then our second season we covered what we called fast and furious at Jason movies.
And we watched some terror we we get we got through a Sahara of terrible movies that we watched towards the end of season two. Yeah. And I think it just like lowered my standards for movies I find enjoyable.
Well, you're going to be really mad at me because I do want to propose something for the next season. Bad action movies. They can still be fun. We can still watch.
You could find lists. I love. I love. There are lists of bad action. They're fun to watch. But anyway, where was I going that other than I just really enjoyed the same.
Yeah, I really like this one. The only like thing is just like, you know, like, but I realized what they were doing, like, probably about 10 minutes and so they were just packing in classic themes that.
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I was kind of like that scene force, but like it had to be do establish that like this is coming, you know, it was we it was weird when he first started this movie when you first see Vin Diesel and you realize, oh, this was 15 years after the trip first triple X.
And he's like, he's like an old man on that motorcycle. I got to be at least. Yeah, he and so like as he's like having the slight romance with that woman, you're like, you're old enough to be a grandpa.
You know what? I swear to God, like, I think that was the one thing in the movie and and it's consistent with him. And I don't know if that's in his contract.
That if she isn't if I cannot kiss her, then I'm not doing a movie. Yeah, he's crazy because it's like married. Yeah, married kids everything. And I've said this probably almost every other episode.
I probably feel like people are probably tired of me hearing it, but he only has chemistry with one woman and it's not ready from the fast and furious. It is Helen Miran when you watch those scenes of him with Helen Miran and fast and furious.
It is creepily the chemistry. They say, hey, location got a nice body, though.
Lowkey. I'm Aaron is banging. I think every time he's ever in a love. You look, look, I'm telling you all look it up. Lowkey. Okay.
Helen Miran is bang. Are you looking her up right now? I'm just seeing who she married and because that's like she's eating.
Yeah, listen, but she got a, hey, look at her. She not bad. No, she looks like she's maybe 60. Yeah, this one. This one, I don't know about this one.
I feel like especially the scene with the seven women in him. The things I do for my country. I do for my country.
I just love how it's unclear. It's clear of what his friend does in trouble for, but she's also like a brothel of drugs.
I mean, I just don't understand why they were all sleep like that. Yeah.
It was the most unnaturalistic. Yeah, that was, it was a weird start to a movie to be like he just had an eight person or two.
Yeah, and like to the plot. And do you really think I'm sorry? I'm sorry. There is no way you could do that by yourself, sir.
Yeah. The things he does for his country. The things I do for my country.
The thing that I thought was very funny too is like when he's on that radio tower in the beginning of the movie, he drops like 80 feet.
That's a very important. This is just way. Yeah, yeah. He didn't break his legs and not a knee broke and that's part of what I liked about this movie
because it reminded me of fast six through nine. I'm not going to count 10 because I didn't much care for that movie.
But fast six to nine where it's just like the most unrealistic over the talk action.
Like Vin Diesel can take a bullet and be like, yeah, whatever, you know, like we were getting that kind of action like the fight. Yeah.
I was like, this is this is the kind of nonsense I want to watch.
I think so. The man is a big upstairs. I just want him to next time he's in any type of Spanish speaking country to physically speak Spanish because he can't.
Well, Los Bandoeros.
Well, he did pretty decent in Los Bandoeros. See, yeah.
I think I think that you would almost sound more natural feed to Spanish speaking movies sometimes.
And yeah, because his way is deep in his wall. I want is he Italian?
He's he's a little he's everything.
Apparently. I put for the longest out that the man was black. He's got some black.
He's got some black. He's in his inner. He's in a racial. He's in a racial.
So he's a Bruno. He's not Bruno Mars. Yeah. He's got some black. He's got some either. I don't think it's Italian. I think it's Hispanic.
But he's also got some white. Like he's his real name is Markson Claire. One of his first documentaries. He directed and and dead was about the challenges of being like a biracial actor and how he fits everywhere.
No, we're at the same.
Yes. Like anytime he grows his hair that hair ain't going.
Yeah. Anytime he grows his hair that automatically let you know he got some black.
Yeah. A man apart. You're like, OK.
Anytime he's not actually bald then.
No, no, no, he's a signature that he's doing is part of his acting career.
Just because his hair line maybe goes all the way.
Probably that makes sense. Yeah.
That's the like what's his name that's racially in big ambiguous.
Twain or oxygen. Yes, but we know he's back in Samoa.
There are two sides of a different coin. They cannot stand each other.
And that's my favorite of my favorite celebrity feud.
Yeah, I do. I do. I do. Let's get into. Let's get into. Let's get into some facts about the Xandah cage.
So let's talk about the cast who was in it.
Like this came out in 2017.
Yep. So what was that? How many years ago?
So I'll do that eight years ago.
Eight years ago. Yeah. That's not bad.
The movies were so popping then like.
Absolutely. They weren't 2001 2002 quality, but they were still.
They honestly did enjoy the little bit of CGI that was in the movie. So I'll do that. It was rated PG-13 of course for sexual content and nudity.
If you're gonna have an eight person sex scene, you might as well give it a 13.
I've got a lot of swearing. I'm asking that.
That's what confused me about the PG-13. I'm like, why would this not be rated R?
So the way it works with that is it like. It's the F word isn't it? Yeah, you can only not say the F word in a PG-13 movie.
Okay. I don't know. I'm I'm asking. That's a weird thing to be like. We.
We dropped it in the comments.
13 year olds are ready for most profanity.
And that's true because I did that it four years old. Let's keep going.
So we got Vin Diesel. Of course is Mr. Zander Cage.
The infamous Donnie Yen.
We got Depeca Paduc-Paducani.
Chris Wu. And because it's Pride and because it's June and because I love her and it could be.
January through December and I'm rubbing my knee right now.
It is something about Ruby Rose.
I am so sorry you man. Right. She is.
She is delightful.
It had me at that woman.
She was that woman season one.
She had me at everything that day.
As soon as that woman came on the screen, I was like, am I?
What?
So it's the eyes. It's the way she looks at everything.
She is ridiculous. I'm definitely fangirling over her in this movie.
Tony, Tony Ja. You ain't beaten Tony.
You're not beaten. Tony Ja is everything to me.
You love him. He is ridiculous.
You got my girl Becky.
I love, I would love to meet Nina.
Nina Dubrov.
Oh, oh yeah. Oh yeah.
I would love to hire Terry.
She did like everything. She did.
Yeah. Before and it was random almost for her to do this movie.
Yeah. It felt a little different.
I really wanted us to talk really do get into her because she's such a well-rounded actor.
She's such a well-rounded actor.
Yeah. She was on the grassy.
She was on the grassy.
Yeah. She was on the grassy.
She was four different characters on Van Bauer's diary.
She was. She really was.
Something interesting about her in this movie, I don't know if you'll get to this or if this is just, I thought it was a fun fact.
She really wanted a scene with like an action scene with a gun fight and they kept, they didn't originally have her written to, where she would be shooting.
Every day on filming.
She was like, "Oh, please, give me a, and they finally came in."
And that's, and then so, but they, all the other characters had training and like how to hold guns and I would make it, and she didn't.
And so, they thought it would be funny to make this whole movie.
So yeah, so, Nina, she followed it.
Yeah. So that's like, it's hard to do because she is a good actress.
She probably was acting, but like, if it looked like she didn't know how to hold a gun as well as all the other people,
she was the only one in the cast that didn't take like the classes on that.
That is somebody who I honestly would love to do some scenes with. I would love to be in a scene with her.
I think she's absolutely gorgeous.
She's drunk, she is.
It is hard.
She's drunk, I think.
I want to say it is.
I mean, Nina, that sounds like it.
My boy, Rory, McCann, we know who he is.
You know who he is, right?
I'm terrible, then, which character?
Tennyson.
What else he plays in?
Yeah, I still have to watch the game.
You're not going to tell me this man cannot sing in real life.
I won't tell you that.
I believe in real life.
That man can really blow.
Maybe that's as nice and devor.
He's Scottish.
He's like, "I'm going to move it together."
Don't thought you'd be like that?
I'm going to win in a Academy Award because it will be sad, a little bit of humor to it.
He used to speak.
The lighthouse, no one gets up, but they're like, "It was good."
Right.
We had Tony Collette as Jane Markey, the main lady behind all of it.
And of course, the great Sam L. Mothel Jackson.
And we had Neymar in this.
I don't know if you guys realized that that was Neymar in it.
He was the soccer player.
I wonder if he looks different.
Obviously now.
He was killing a baby.
He was a weird cameo to have.
He was the only kid who's napkin holder and stopped the Chinese.
He's like, "Perfect.
I've been wanting this role, so my...
Why?
Why don't I forget Darius there?
Can I just say?
This is the only triple X I hadn't seen.
And so I had been wanting a Vin Diesel and Ice Cube.
I really...
From the minute I...
They didn't do anything like that.
I knew it when the rocket launcher killed the people I knew was Ice Cube.
And I audibly said to nobody...
Sizzles were nay.
You could tell that.
He had any more dialogue than he did.
It would have ruined everything.
Right.
But it was so signature of Starr...
No, was signature is the fact that that man came in on his own theme music.
Yeah, that is...
That is signature.
I loved it.
And then like, I'm talking to each other at the end.
Can I ask both the other questions?
So is that how men talk like you stand apart?
I mean, every time I see Drew at the dive motel, I'm like...
What's gonna take the joint the clean comedy channel?
Get out.
And then I'm like...
What they say?
When he takes his iPhone in it...
Stop.
I didn't want that.
I'm like, is every interaction that he has with a man talking they are six to ten feet apart?
Did.
I don't know if it's...
Have y'all not noticed that if I've known one?
I think...
It's like, I can only see...
You used to get close to anyone who shares his franchise.
I was like, why are you talking like that?
I feel like it's their attempt to be like, we're gonna look tough.
And you know, what's tougher than standing awkwardly apart from another man?
Oh, God, I felt like they were gonna be like in a while, while Westwood guns and blazes and there's like...
And you're like, Jersey versus Compton?
Yes!
Oh, my God!
Oh, God.
I feel like it's like we came out in 2017.
It made...
God, let me see.
Oh, they did it in China, Canada and in the United States.
So...
So many.
So they filmed in the Philippines.
The budget was $85.
It was estimated at $85 million.
I actually thought it was gonna be higher when I read this.
That's what I thought, too.
Opening weekend.
What do you think it grossed opening weekend?
Yeah, what do you think it is?
I'm thinking...
I'm thinking, oh, open, oh.
Just opening weekend.
No, 20 million.
So it flopped initially.
If it flopped initially, then it grossed...
I wanna say 200, 200 million.
Am I close?
20,030,000, $142.
And the gross world wide was $346,018.
Wow.
Yeah.
But it goes to show you that, like, just because it's kind of like...
This is like, 10-tended really well over at C's.
Yeah.
It just grabbed the bed here in America.
Yeah.
I feel like, I wonder how much of the people I want to go see
it was like the nostalgia of, like, 'cause that...
About 15 years had passed, or let me know.
That's the older.
Yeah. I just wanted to get into some of these reviews.
Oh, by the way, DJ Caruso.
He was a director and Rich Wolkes.
And F Scott Frazier.
They were the writers on it.
It's got a lot of mixed reviews.
Yeah, it was like 46 on Ron Tomatoes.
Yeah.
46 on Ron Tomatoes.
It's still better than State of the Union, which I think was like 17.
Yeah. I think it's actually in a lot of lists
of, like, worst movie of the year.
Yeah. On IMDb, they give it a 5.2 out of 10.
I can't believe that. I don't know what you guys do.
IMDb is more fair.
I like IMDb.
Yeah. And that's what I usually try to go on.
So let's look at some of the reviews.
The Seattle Times said the Return of the Ender Cage is the movie equivalent of
Cotton Candy, all IMD calories, excessive consumption of all of this
product is likely to give the body the queesies.
The New York Times said, "Carry's delicious."
Yeah.
"Characters are simply triggers for the over-over-rot action sequences,
throughts between the Edward Cesar hands, editing, and the occasional
wobbling background, even though those are less than distinct."
Arizona Republic said, "This film is packed with moments of rank
idiocy."
Oh, yeah, it is.
That's the thing.
Now, the slant said, "Quibbles dissipate in the face of
"giddy-ness of action with bills to such a relentless head that even the serious
"stakes of the Phil's motivation give way to a largely pleasant vibe."
And the Chicago Tribune said, "Pure spectacle has been since
"submissed into narrative filmmaking."
But the cinema of attractions is always present, especially in modern action movies,
and there are so many more greater examples of this.
The XXXS, the Return of Zander Cage, but this is the other people that love this.
What you're talking about, did they not know they were watching Triple Lux
the Return of Zander Cage?
On the comments, they said, "Why are you all looking for a completely drama movie
"when this is all is supposed to be, this is what is supposed to be?"
It is.
It is 100% delivered on everything that I wanted when I watched Triple L.
I called the Hunter.
I called the Hunger Games effect because they had action and drama,
and they're like, "That is what every action, so then that's what they take in every movie."
But did the Hunger Games come out right?
Yeah, they did.
One of the last ones.
The last ones were starting to come out around then, so I don't know.
It's just like...
They want it all.
They want it all.
They probably wanted anything but Vin Diesel.
What did they have?
John Get out.
He said they wanted everything but Vin Diesel.
I love that one of those reviews called it Cotton Candy.
Who doesn't love Cotton Candy?
I mean, if I don't get Cotton Candy, I sometimes get upset.
Maybe they're vegan.
Yeah.
And please don't ever drop in a comment that there is such thing as vegan cotton candy.
That is disgusting.
Probably a zestoo.
It's not there.
Yeah, well, there's also, like, sin exists.
Like, come on, you faster.
You know Hell is a real place, and that's where vegan donuts are at.
Yeah.
I was going to say, if you listen to this and you're a vegan...
Why do you eat the animals?
Why do you eat the animal food?
If you're a vegan, why are you eating all the animal food, huh?
If you really love the animal, stop eating all the lettuce and the grapes and stuff.
If you love them, let the animals eat.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think that's...
I got a vegetarian, sister and a lot of cheese, great.
I've met vegans and, like, there's two types of vegans.
There's the one who are like, I am actually vegan.
Yeah.
That's silent about it.
And then there's ones who be like, I could never.
Right.
Those are the ones that need to have a seat.
Yeah, they...
And they live in Seattle.
Hence, what about bad reviews?
But this is not a bad review.
She said, the score on IMDB is ridiculously inaccurate.
This is not a metaphysical interpretation of life and drama.
Like you said, this is XXXS.
This is Dander Cage at his best, like you said.
It says, the question is, well, the action is well-shoddened all over the top...
And over the top, as expected.
The jokes are cheesy and perfectly timed, minor spoilers.
There are some cameras, there are some cameos, and they nailed them.
The support cast in the movie, like, sometimes end up being annoying or getting in a way.
Not so in this one.
Every character is unique, fun.
And I have to agree with that.
And has the right amount of screen time and does not annoy.
There is no drama or attention.
Nor does there need to be...
This is not meant to be the departed.
Ah.
This is a super fun action flick where you can make...
We can just smile and watch Vin Diesel nail another awesome flick out of the park.
Some people complained about this new cast feeling out of place.
Not so.
They did an amazing job.
I feel this movie review, the XXX franchise, and I'm already hungry for another one.
Again.
Do you feel good, another one?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
I think.
Because he's almost 55?
Yeah, I think.
I think as much as much as he's been dragging his feet with the next Fast and Furious
in the next Radek movie, I don't think anyone's even been like...
And what about the next triple X movie?
Yeah, I know.
Well, Vin, it's the rule of three.
It's a trend.
But you know what?
I would 100% go watch another one.
Absolutely.
I literally was in the bathtub with popcorn watching this movie.
Was the computer or TV like a safe?
I saw my...
I saw my train.
She was like, "I was contemplating my life and I was like, 'I mean, this movie is going
to paint.'
I'm going to die watching this."
Listen.
This is what I liked about this movie.
It felt so timely in that like, just with everything that's going on in a country right
now, at the end of the movie, I was like, "We need a triple X."
Where's Vin Diesel?
Where's Vin Diesel?
Vin Diesel.
Like he needs to come solve this state of the union.
And because Vin Diesel, I want you right now to give us your review in the memory, in
the essence of Zander Cage.
I don't know if you can do it.
Kenny, I don't know.
But I heard earlier in "Brex and I'm cautiously optimistic."
So it was the AI plot summary from the voice.
We didn't get the...
Yeah, we did.
I need to get this plot summary.
Because I still don't know what this...
I had some of you guys like, "We've never seen this movie, but we started to listen to
an hour podcast episode about it."
Well now you're about to hear what the movie is about.
The name's Cage.
Zander Cage.
And yeah, I'm back.
He thought I was dead.
Nah, I was just chilling, doing deftifying stunts in the jungle, dodging snakes, government
calls, and anything that required ants.
But then the world decided to suck again.
So what happens, Samuel Jackson's character?
Who looks like he could talk a shark out of biting him?
Thank you.
Cause me and because some evil tech rose, our drop in satellites, like their mix tapes,
original.
Now I gotta say the planet again.
But I don't do it with a military squad or some buttoned up suit wearing clowns.
Now I roll my people, my weirdos, a sniper who hates rules, a DJ was zero fear, get away
driver who thinks breaks are optional and a girl who could actually enter your wifi before
you finish saying, "Ask where."
We're not spies, we're triple X.
We don't ask permission.
We jump out of planes, ride motorcycles on water.
Watch dudes through windows and somehow always land for wind in no scratches.
It's not about saving the world, it's about doing it with style.
Sun glasses on, muscles flexed, and zero, f words, give it.
So yeah, I'm Zander Cage and this ain't espionage, this is extreme.
Yeah, yeah.
Perfect.
I did love that scene when he, the motorcycle that turns into a water ski because that's
a drug.
So I was like, how did that happen?
Okay, because thank you, because I was like, wait a minute, and then he go underwater and
keep going up.
Of course he did.
And he went up because he's been freaking diesel.
Yes, true.
And freaking diesel.
I did like how, as ridiculous as it was, each of the, each of the triple X's had their
unique, had a unique personality.
Yes.
Oh, I love that.
Right, like each of them had their thing that, and it could have been as dumb as I'm a DJ,
but I'm really good at being it.
Like using that to fight crime.
But they make it work.
They all had a time where like what they did, the, the guy just crashes into things, the
Scottish accent.
He said, you know, say, he did a thing that helped further the plot.
It might have a straight drinking problem, but we don't address that.
You know, we're not all, we all got our crosses to bear, you know, the one thing, like you
said, I did like, I love the fact that they introduced all of their, their characters with
little quips about them, but there were inaccuracies about the quips, like with Tennyson,
the, his, Miss mouthpiece, we say, they, he's a rugby player.
They don't use that in rugby.
Oh, yeah, because rugby, they just like, the only mouthpiece you need is the blood from
your mouth.
Yeah.
But it's, it's rugby's intense, man.
It is.
I know.
I watched the Olympics and I was like, this is pretty hardcore.
And then I only see the only other thing in the movie that I did not like the one thing that
I did not like was the fact that he had to have a fair coat.
And then my thing was, how do he get that second fair coat after the first one?
Yeah.
It's also been 20 years.
And the fact that he went in London just been like, take this.
Also, remember me by it.
It's weird that that's, it's weird that that's what Vin Diesel or the riders thought like,
well, if we're bringing Zander back, everyone's going to know about his fur coat.
Let's bring that back.
We're going to address it for 35 seconds.
Absolutely.
And I'm just like, dude, it's right there.
And then when you see him again saying, that's the crew on me, it's a no fur coat.
Yeah.
No, he went through a lot of effort to get the, like, what, where did this get from?
Cold come from.
Oh no.
It's, it's only Vin Diesel.
Yeah.
All the engines.
Now, so many inaccuracies in the movie that made it fun for me, aside from Vin Diesel, who
is your favorite, like, triple X?
Like, who do you think, like, to me, like the one I thought that was like the, like, the
Asian guy who did all the, I was like, he, he, he, he, absolutely, and a lot going to
have happened without him.
Absolutely.
But for me, it was Angela.
Of course.
Of course.
I'm sorry, but the women kicked ass in this.
They did.
They did.
They kicked butt in this movie.
Down in the face of fear.
They did not.
I'm, this, I'm this one.
And, and again, I'm just, I'm fangirling in this because I was just like, I did not realize
she was going to be in it.
I was like, wait, is she?
Yeah, she is.
I knew that the woman who, who hired him, the one who said Gibbons was dead, I knew she
would turn.
Yeah, it was something about her.
And it's just the aura they presented it with.
Yeah.
Ali, Ali, Okson, for real.
Yeah, she, I didn't, I didn't, I can't tell if I just didn't like her as an actress
or just really didn't like her character.
I didn't like her character.
Is it like, when she, does she actually die because she's hooked to a parachute?
Yeah, I don't know what she does.
Yeah, but I, I assume I feel like I, it looked like she died, but who knows and triple X
4.
Cause she can be floating, buy her ankle for that long.
I don't think you can.
Yeah, no, because that's so much blood rush.
Yeah, so that's something that, that, that movie didn't answer.
This is something else that I can, you know.
And she didn't die on screen, so who knows?
This is something else I didn't like about the one thing when we first meet, what's her name
in the movie?
Nina de Bruv.
Yeah, no, not Nina.
Blonde evil, blonde woman.
No, the Indian, the pretty Indian girl.
Oh, one of the triple X's, yeah.
One of the triple X's.
How did she have all heels at the club and then when she get to the beach, she had on flat
boots?
She, that's part of the technology.
And that's part of her, in the same ways that the wheels turned to water skis.
Can we please talk about the wheels?
Okay, no, we can't talk about that.
I'll tell you, I'll tell you the one thing that I would change in this movie.
And well, I, first of all, I also need to take another moment to appreciate ice cube saving
the day.
Oh, that was, that was just, that made, I was already loving this movie.
He's like, in that, yeah.
I was like, yeah, I took it on a couple of dates.
And right back to his theme, I just, he's just, I just, his mannerisms are so funny to
me.
And because I don't, I think in the same way that Vin Diesel is like, this is cool.
Let me go grab a fur coat.
I think ice cube is like, I'm going to say this line and everyone's going to be like,
that's really cool.
Yeah.
But the one thing that I would have taken away, I do not think they needed to bring Samuel
L. Jackson's character back to life.
I didn't think so.
As much as I love Gibbons and Samuel L. Jackson, but like his dying, well, first of all, I've
talked about this.
This is a podcast.
Like, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I've talked about this in the podcast about how like we need to make death more permanent in
these kind of movies.
Like everyone in Fast and Furious comes back all the time.
Nobody's actually.
Yeah.
I've been actually dying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They brought them back literally three times in, in an, in an 11 movie series.
But the whole plot progressed because they banded together over his death and it was such a
beautiful moment at the end with the funeral where they were all together honoring him.
And I just feel like when they brought him back, it kind of negated all of that.
Really?
That's, I mean, just how it felt.
Like, it would have been, especially since like they had, I don't, this movie didn't seem
like they were setting up for another triple X.
You know, like this scene.
Oh.
Okay.
It would have been a good way to end it because now it's too but closed off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like, I, I, I agree with that.
I agree with that.
I agree with that.
I see what you're saying by that.
Um, um, I was like a problem with like movies that end with like the main character, like
not part of the funeral, but, um, funeral.
Yeah.
Why was he just sitting up there?
I don't know.
I don't know if this was like just the way the lighting was, but like, it looked like
Xander was in a gymnasium.
He's like, I don't know.
And everyone else is like just anastone.
And it's just, I, yeah.
That bothered me for some reason.
I wonder too.
You, I mean, we, we learned this when we kind of did the deep dive of the Fast and Furious
movies.
Like, Vin Diesel has such a weird like, I'm gonna go and knock out all these scenes and
I'm gonna go.
So like they probably, especially since he was like one of the producers or directors of
Rive or probably, yeah, probably some kind of hands.
It was producer one.
Yeah.
Cause I mean it was, it was a one race production, um, which is either a playoff.
It was kind of his race or a Fast and Furious, but, um, but I wonder if he had like, I'm gonna
go film these scenes and then I don't have to, you know, be at these other scenes or whatever.
Uh, you might be doing some people do that with projects like, I know like, Neibar gets
he's doing, he's filming a movie and then like flying back to Nashville, right?
And then flying back to Atlanta and then driving and chatting to you because they're filming
there too, I guess.
Yeah.
I could see actually a new fat, a new triple X like movie where they like one of his, he
recruits someone like he's now Gibbons.
Yeah.
I could see them running with that.
That would be cool.
Now how successful would play that part though?
Who would play the new recruit?
Yeah.
That's a good question.
It wouldn't be, it wouldn't be, it wouldn't be, it wouldn't be, it couldn't be anyone
like Timothy, shallow, Mayor Tom Holland or like people who've done typically those type
deals.
Yeah.
Um, it had to be somebody new.
What if it was Michael B. Jordan?
That'd be cool.
Honestly, I could see that happen.
Yeah, I could see that.
Yeah.
I could see Michael B. Jordan doing that.
And I know you're going to be like, shut up CJ.
But what about Ryan Gosling?
Or, or, or, no, not Ryan Gosling.
I was, you know, you know, Reynolds, yeah, Reynolds would work.
Although he, here's why that movie would never work.
Vin Diesel has to be the star and the, he has to, like he has to go in any movie he ever
does.
It always goes back to he's the action hero.
That's why I think actually Michael B. Jordan would be perfect because like he's
a newer star.
Because he's reached pretty high levels.
Why don't you think he's got the same legacy that Vin Diesel has?
Yeah.
Cause like, Michael B. Jordan started in a pen and films like Fruitvale Station and then
then, but this centers and then he was in, he was also in a, he was in Black Panther.
Yeah, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were one of the best, uh, Marvel
villains that they've made so far.
Yeah.
But best written.
Yeah.
I think, uh, I think Jordan might be, would be really good.
Yeah.
You're listening and you need some writers.
We're here.
Or if you just need me to talk to Michael B. Jordan, you can send him the number, just drop
it down in the chat now.
I hit him up.
You know, and if you also have Nina to braze numbers, go ahead and drop that one in here.
We'll see if she's interested in the fourth of the day too.
I would love to do that.
I would love to talk to her.
Maybe get her here.
Do a podcast.
I don't think I could like get off talking there.
I would try.
I would, I would totally, I would invite Nina to five points pizza.
But like, I feel like she would be the perfect person to go eat pizza with.
Where she lives?
I'm looking up.
Hi.
Hi.
Why you at that?
Let's get Ruby.
Yeah.
I think she's like li the air, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know.
I mean, if you live here, if you want to go to Slim and Husky's, boo, what's up?
Let's go.
Let's go.
So, um, is it time for our gang?
Let's do it because, uh, let's do two vast, two fairies ready.
Oh, you are.
He doesn't know how to go.
Do you want to explain her?
Should I?
I guess?
You explain it.
And all three of you get to rate it. Your options are it's so it's called the two fast two furious ratings systems
So two fastest like best ever my life is better because of it fast is like I liked it
Furious and this is kind of our neutral ground fears either you didn't like it, or like you didn't really care
But then right and then two fears is like I really didn't like it, and my life is less than because of it
Oh geez, so yeah, we all get to it here so and I already already played my cards early on
I'm gonna give this one a two fear up soon
Well
But
I'm gonna
I've never been more wrong in my life
Rock John's world right like I said that is my acting I acted like I love this movie
Now he's no, I'm gonna be better too fast and this is and again we base this
Solly on how you enjoyed the movie I've given plenty of two fast
Review like ratings on bad movies like it says I had so much fun watching this
I left in a good mood
Mm-hmm, and also part of it was timely like part of me's like man
Things are rough in the US right now, and it was fun to watch a movie where things were rough and and the extreme sports guy
I wanted you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, so so I liked it too too fast all the way all right
I'm gonna do too fast to you. I was just I
Think about like I watch this on a plane and it'd be like that's pretty cool
I could watch this at you know home on my TV school like I would I didn't see you singing at the air
I wish I would have but actually about the DVD
Yeah, so yeah, I bought that and then yeah
Just I would have loved to see what would I be in a theater? Yeah, it's just like that perfect thing where you could just eat and like
Have a good time. Oh, I'm definitely too fast. I love this movie. I'm probably gonna watch it again tonight
All right, there. I almost rewatched it in this week too just just for fun
So that and that's to me why I got it too fast yeah, I'll probably gonna watch tonight because it's funny
Well now it is time for our game, and I am very excited about that because I'm switching it up a little bit
Okay, time out you know about our best bits game
I just need a key review
Yeah, so sorry. Yeah, so we get to we pick our best bits from the movie and you have to guess which one I like the best
so yeah, and also if you guess correctly
Then I get a point and and we're keeping track this whole season if you guys incorrectly see J gets a point
Same same for me. We're both trying to guess her best scene and she's gonna give her a qualification here in the scenes of your second
For everyone watching and listening in this current moment in time
I am losing like I have four points and she has seven points, so I'm gonna need us to like
Start being correct. Well this time he might win because I made it easier and I changed it up a little bit
I'm only
Yeah, I'm only doing scenes
That involve Ruby. Okay, I love it
Ad-soup. He's no gorgeous to be okay. All right, so these okay
So of course we all know her name was a Dale wolf first off. Hello
Let's do that. She's kind of like that big mess don't mess with me type of energy
So these to me this was my third my three favorite moments. What do you think they were the first scene the jungle sniper scene when she
That was a cool man. That was a good one
Yeah, she was she was she was to me. She was like befriending the lion. Yeah at that point in her life
When the gun the gun flight in the club when she the Philippines. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, that was cool too
I mean, what's that because did she do her own stuff?
She might have I did not see where she did not so I think I think she did because I know later in her career
She injures her back doing batwoman and it was a big deal because
She does her own stunts and now she can't okay
I was looking everywhere to see like who was her stunt woman and I could
not find it and
When she goes completely off going off on that dude when she was
When she rose do she said I'll shoot you and then roll my eyes about it
The I remember that scene when she was like when the dude came up to her oh, yeah, cuz he was like hitting on her
Yeah, my boy you know, this is not what you want this is not this is how she rose do like she just
Mid-fired like why shoot you twice when I blink and
Yeah, I got my guess so which one which one do you think was my favorite?
Angel Adele which one do you think it was?
Because like honestly like just that talent of right and the fact that that CJ researched it
gave me extra leeway to
Reve in my opinion. Yeah
Yeah, good point she she did her own race. I'm gonna go too as well. That's a good logic is the number two
It is all right there. There you go
It's not saying it's number three. No, it wasn't honestly three was I was like that's weaker compared to the other two
Yeah, that was cool, but when she did that
She was like that's your wow bow bow bow
Yeah, I was like you better you better shoot you better sniper yourself. Yeah girl
You better sniper. I need to learn how to do it
Like don't you wish you could like when you see all that stuff you're like man
What did it be cool? And see that's why I enjoyed the movie like when people like this movie said how all of that was cool
Yeah, what's cool? It's just like
Also like they're everywhere in the world
Yeah, they were
Let's talk about the fact that they were in Santa Domingo
Yeah, talk about it. I love the fact that they were in Santa Domingo
I love that he he always and that's a good point to what John was saying earlier like is he
Italian does he whatever background he is he does
He does always manage to put in his panic or some type of cultural back
Yeah, he's moving there must be a bed like from his childhood or something like that
I love that and in his cast is those diverse the locations of film in this diverse. I mean, there's a lot of cool
In in his success over the years he's developed a monumental ego
Yeah, like when you look at the patty-ness between him and the rock and like the lot of things there
Like there there is there's a lot of he's a flawed human being
Yeah, as we all are but I do love the community aspect of his films where he brings back the same people where he really tries to bring diversity in his line up
Where he it's very important to him to fill like if we're gonna do a scene in Brazil. We're gonna go to Brazil
Yeah, and I mean locals
I mean, and that's another thing that I don't think people realize when you are filming in those cities and in those countries
That does bring money into their area. Yeah, it really does so that is a good
They have to hire PAs they have and then they he really does use the local babies that are from there
That's awesome like he really does that that I didn't research that all local talent they really
Resource the
Yeah, that's a movie he's done is saving private Ryan, but in that movie they're fighting the most evil white people
German that's true
So hey, Vin Diesel why don't you come over here and save USA? We need yeah, come on
We need another vent we need a quadruple X we need another
All right, cuz uh where a little I want to get punched by Vin Diesel
I would mind being punched by Vin Diesel
I feel like if he ever met me after listening to some of these episodes he would punch me like
You should be my friend true
Like there's like the like when he did the gun and then yeah, I wouldn't mind that
Well, um, John is there anything you can plug or watch
And remember that so this episode will be out literally next week
So sounds good. Uh, yeah, so this weekend I'm taping a thing with Nate Margazese
Any lane productions um part of the showcase season three and that will be on you to
July 18th, so
Otherwise, uh, yeah, just uh
Follow the clean comedy collective uh, one reasons I love doing this is cuz like you were one of the first people who gave me a show
Okay in the city and uh, yeah, and you that the nursing home show went
Was it you know, when I was always cried above a wild wings act was
There's a mean old lady
Franklin Tennessee, right?
Yeah, I'm by word of Franklin and I did this retirement community
And I'm bombing so badly that I'm like
I'd got to start yelling or just
Just any yelling over the last 10 minutes of my show and then like I brought Drew up and they
I don't know if it's like this guy Lerley
He didn't have his hearing aids up well and he is
actively reviewing the show
So for both of you in that you like is this guy famous?
Oh, I would never dumbly so it was not I can't
Was a nursing home shows are weird and what I've learned is the show part usually is pretty terrible
But like after what what they really like because they don't like the comedy
Well, they really like is talking you after the show. No, thank you
And I got scolded after that show too because I did a joke about how my ex was native American in Jewish
And I said like the I guess you'd say that one good thing like could it came out of that relationship as
Our kids are what are gonna college for free
And then this woman comes up to me and she like passed me on shoulder and I'm so like
Oh, she wants to say a good job. Whatever. Yeah, and she says like
You know, I'm Jewish right
You know, this is 2022. This is not yeah, it's going on the news now
And then I'm just like oh, yeah, that's great
I say like I love Jewish people like really I don't think
Her family would appreciate that joke you know me like about inclusivity and diversity and then she's just like
It's a really bad joke
And I like I wanted to
Yeah, there's no bad that's happening me that yeah, I think this happened all of us
I have a pre-john you've been part of many bad shows I produce not like as in the comedians
But like I we've gone is really like us and two people in the audience and
The we've had some rough ones, but uh, you know, that's life
You put me on one of my first shows so it's cool
I'm glad you gave me a chance to do clean comedy as well because I'm not clean
So the fact that he's allowing me to do that for shots after your day, but I feel like everyone can be clean
I'm not all of our material like either stuff about your jokes that are like perfectly fine clean rams all of us inside
You have really it's because she has things in her life that are relatable and every most people do
The thing I love about CJ's act too is I like she killed so hard at that winery
I like
Bring it
We really do anytime I'm almost
Says what y'all make me y'all push me to be better. I like that
I like when you have people around you guys, so thank you
Yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you
Make sure you drop your social on right now is that it's at john johin
Detroit DAT y and we'll have it down in the notes and you can send us mail too if you want fan mail
Like I guess you don't have to mail us actual thing
Not unibomored itself
No, nothing of that but shout out to dnd are
So you see I'm wearing my I wanted to wear this day because it was like we're doing action movies. Yeah
I was like I'm working out so live to have you know, I'm saying yes
Ripses so shots out the dnd I need some more apparel if y'all got some tights like the long sides
Drop it in for a flash
You can check us out on most social media platforms. We got youtube, tiktok, facebook, instagram, or where else are we those are it
That's it because we're done with x. Yeah, we x-t- we triple x-t it out
X it out really yeah, we're always dead just honestly like it just
In addition to all the things about it
Yeah, that's the where the worst ones go
And I do not need many excuses to use less. Yeah
I don't even remember my password to get into it so I'm thankful about that so yeah man
Shout out to everybody that watches us
Thank you for allowing me to be on the podcast as always thank you for being on the at this point
We've been on almost about as many episodes like oh, I know I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you
You can always check us out on all of our social media podcasts your davis your girl CJ Walton
And please remember to live your life a quarter mile at a time. See you later guys. Bye
Bye!