xXx: State of the Union

Who needs to fill your tank with Diesel when you got Ice Cube?  Grab your burgers, shakes, and fries and join us as we review xXx: State of the Union.

We're joined once again by America's favorite Gym Creep, our good buddy, and comic from Memphis, TN, Zach Williams.  

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Drew Davis
CJ Walton

Special Guest:
Zach Williams

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Chapters

• 0:34 Intro and Welcome Back Zach!
• 6:28 Movie Overview
• 14:27 Movie Trivia
• 16:58 Movie Reviews
• 20:27 Zach Plot Summary (And Our Movie Review)
• 55:07 2 Fast 2 Furious Movie Rating
• 58:57 Drew's Best Bits (Drew- 3, CJ- 6)
• 1:02:43 Outro

Transcript

[Music]
Welcome back to the quarter mile podcast.
We're still rocking the diesel verse.
We made it through triple X last week before that we did a man-up part before that we did the chronicles of Riddick.
We have.
And now we're back in triple X.
Although this is not pornography if that's what you were googling.
Sorry folks, I'm gonna do another search for that one.
Triple X is the state of the union.
We were covering end in addition to being here as always with my lovely host C.J. Walton.
Now we're doing C.J.
I'm going to play thank you.
I'm still celebrating the birthday.
Jim and I season.
Listen, she's 24 hour 365 days a year birthday.
So I'm not sure you're going to say 24 years old.
I was like, I believe that.
And ladies of gentlemen, you can already tell because you've heard his voice.
We have a repeat guest, one of our most common repeat guests.
Maybe one of our first reoccurring guests.
One of our fan favorites if we're being honest.
Wow.
Zach Williams is back in the house.
Yeah.
How's it going?
You all know Zach from his work with us on torque.
You know Zach from his work when he's a Vin Diesel impersonator on fast nine.
You may know Zach as a Jim Creek.
He is a fellow.
The proudest roles of my career easily.
Yeah.
Did you hear about the the reels that we created with our different.
I've seen them.
But the new Jim creep Jim creep universe expands just like the fast and furious.
Yeah, exactly.
Absolutely.
There's definitely one is inspired by the other.
But I don't know.
You know, we're still it's only in talking phases of the season two Jim creeps.
Really?
But in my talking phases and planning.
In my planning that has not actually been made objective yet.
I love the idea of you, the actual Jim creep, making appearance in it.
Oh, I'm a layer man.
Watching your character interact with the other.
Give me in that writers room.
Let's make something happen.
I think I think that's that's my.
I listen if you're listening to this, don't hold this isn't 100% canning it.
It's all just speculation.
But I feel like if there's a season two Jim creeps, the Jim creep has to make an appearance.
I got to I got to get out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think the mind Jim.
I think so.
I mean, I've seen his work.
Yeah.
He's he's he's pretty creepy.
He's curvy.
I mean, it may work.
It's it's a.
Every now and then you find a role that's just more you than the character.
And you get to live inside that place.
I felt like that of my lonely character as I don't know where he starts and I I end up.
But we're so glad to have Zach back.
Yeah, man.
Great to be here.
How is, you know, just what's going on?
How have life been since torque?
Oh, God.
Right.
Jalow lacking.
There's just so.
So little stimulation.
I think when was it that we recorded for torque was that like my gosh.
Maybe April.
I have no idea.
Okay.
We've just been when Vin Diesel movies lately.
I've been thinking this since we re youed torque and really since I watched a triple X
state of the union, I've had a thought that I need to go through like a classic catalog of
cinema just to offset the amount of fast and furious films that I've put into my brain.
Because I watch state of the union.
I was like, it's not a bad movie.
That's a surprise.
They coherent.
And then I went on rot in tomatoes.
It was 17%.
And I was like, uh-oh.
I think my sensibilities are getting buried.
No, they're not.
Yeah.
So I'd be.
I'll tell you what.
It's going to rub off at some point.
We got a few reviews we'll share later.
But the funny thing about this movie was how many bad, ashtonately bad reviews say the union
guide.
Oh, I could say I could definitely see how someone would like be angry.
Because like after watching this film, I'm not going to lie.
When I go through and I pick reviews out, I pick the funny ones, but I also pick the short ones.
It's like a whole like narrative.
I don't want to read that on this podcast.
People don't want to listen to that.
That was.
There were so many of those passionate chapters.
People had a lot to say.
Oh, my God.
And not a lot of one star of you.
One star, Nair essays written about.
A surprise.
Yeah.
Um, but.
But here's the funny thing about Zach in this podcast.
And he was last with us when we filmed our when we reviewed torque, uh-huh.
Uh-huh, which was an ice cube.
Also, I'll ask you was also.
Yeah, he was.
Yeah.
So now I think the, uh, I think maybe our new trend is we bring Zach back for every ice cube.
Move the app.
I'm here for it.
I mean, if we make it all the way to 21 Jump Street, then yeah, I'll be sure to come back.
I don't know.
Sure, he's got more of a career beyond that.
But yeah, ice cube.
Yeah.
He's a great character actor.
I'll say that.
He is the.
He is the same character in every act in every role.
Yeah, he's just.
He's just ice cube the way I'm.
I'm Jim Creep and you're lonely.
He's just that guy.
He's just, he's cool.
Yeah.
But you know, cool and angry.
We said in our last movie that we talked about.
We were like, why is ice cube still angry?
But I noticed in this movie a few times.
He smiled.
He does have.
He has a little bit of emotional death.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There was this film.
Yeah.
We saw a happier ice cube.
A gentleman.
Yeah.
And you hardly ever, unless he, hmm, we'll be in count on one hand.
How many times I've seen ice cube smile?
Does that say an ice cube smile and it will not add up?
Yeah.
There was one time in this movie where he just had a genuine.
And I mean, smile in person and on screen.
And I was like, I was like, is that acting?
Is that not real?
This is.
I feel like whatever it is when I watch this movie, the thing I noticed, like, it was small
pieces.
It seems like every scene of dialogue, it was just one line at a time.
And I think there is somewhere there's a bucket of just footage with the director.
Cut.
You know, trying.
Trying to get them all to say a big right?
Right.
All right.
I guess we're going to try it again.
Smile this time.
All right.
We got the smile moving.
Yeah.
There we go.
Yeah.
Ice cube like I need five.
That was hard.
I'll take a minute after that one.
All right.
So, uh, we'll get into a movie overview real quick of a triple X, uh, Colin state of the union.
Mm-hmm.
So this movie came out in 2005 with a budget of $60 million.
Now, how much would you guys guess that it may?
It came out with a budget of $60 million.
I read it on Wikipedia.
So I don't feel like I should weigh in.
Okay.
Well, then I'm going to do it because I did not read it.
And, uh, I'm going to go with, you say $60 million.
Yeah.
A budget of $60 million.
Then it came in in.
100.
Close.
Sort of.
Lower.
It was 71 mil.
Well, and, uh, what's interesting is only 26 of that was in the US.
The rest was in Canada.
So this movie, I don't.
I couldn't.
medians dug this film.
Canadians were in doing it.
Wow.
I know why.
What is that?
Due to a lot of comedians in this movie.
There was.
That's true.
A lot of comedians made cameos.
A lot of comedians make it.
Were the Canadian comedians are just like...
They're just good funny comedians.
Yeah, Canadians love comedy.
Yeah.
You have Bruce Bruce?
Yep.
I love those two guys.
I forgot about it later, but those two guys were one of my favorite the bus scene.
Can I tell you, Bruce Bruce is probably one of...
I would...I need to open up a film.
He found out that I was doing comedy.
He was like, "I ain't you sweet."
Like, yeah.
He's the nicest, nicest, not one of the...
Not as his.
He's got a great reputation.
He's the nicest.
I think that showed up on film.
He just has like a personality where even him driving the truck is just interesting.
You want to watch him.
I mean, just to sit back and just listen to him talk about comedy or just listen to him
talk about the movies that he's done.
And keep in mind, Bruce Bruce has been referenced in rap songs.
I did not know that.
You did?
Yes, you did.
You did.
You just don't realize that you get cranked with it.
Get loose with it.
Like Shoe said, Bruce Bruce said it.
You know that.
You have to.
Come on.
You know this.
You know this.
But shut up, Bruce Bruce.
I'm going to make Drew.
Drew is going to know this song.
I'm going to...
That's what you walk out music when you go on stage.
I want to point someone on it because this was 2005.
I want to point it to someone unironically said, let's get drunk.
They did.
They do.
And like I was like, oh, that's a, no, that's like I was, that was dialed for this guy to speak.
Someone wrote that and said, all right, we got it.
That scene is done now.
Yeah.
And I did.
I was horrible.
Let's get drunk.
As they talk about the cast.
I could not say that.
Oh, I can't.
No, you can't.
You can't write that in a script like it has to do.
Yeah, yeah.
No, you need to.
I'm not going to say that.
I'm not going to say that.
I'm not going to say that.
I'm not going to say that.
I'm not going to say that.
I'm not going to say that.
I'm not going to say that.
I'm not going to say that.
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Yeah, he's the guy in charge.
Yeah, he's the guy in charge.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, I'm not going to say that.
Yeah, because he's the one that he's the through line, he's the through line, he's the one that, oh, I mean, if he if it wasn't for him, then we wouldn't have Zander.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, in this movie we don't have Zander.
No, no, no.
He got his old buddy.
He just got his old buddy.
He just got his old buddy.
He's the old buddy.
According to the plot, he got blown up in the past.
In Bora Bora places.
I'm super, I'm happy they went with a real place this time.
As opposed to Fast9, just inventing places.
Yeah, like Bora.
I don't know if there's any, like, there's a lot of things that happen.
I don't know if there's any, like, there's a lot of things that happen.
I don't know if there's any, like, there's a lot of things that happen.
I don't know if there's any, like, there's a lot of things that happen.
I don't know if there's any, like, there's a lot of things that happen.
I don't know if there's any, like, there's a lot of things that happen.
I don't know if there's any, like, there's a lot of things that happen.
I don't know if there's any, like, there's a lot of things that happen.
I don't know if there's any, like, there's a lot of things that happen.
I don't know if there's any, like, there's a lot of things that happen.
'Cause several times they're like, he died, he's dead.
He blo- There was actually a deleted scene
that didn't make it to the movie, but like,
it's what it's called, deleted scene.
That was an unnecessary statement.
Anyway, a ball band blowing up and like,
pieces going everywhere, so.
- They went that far.
- I did not know?
- Yeah, yeah, there was so, what's interesting is,
next week we'll be talking about the Third triple X,
where Vin Diesel does return.
- Of course he comes back, 'cause the second one made
a bunch of money.
- Absolutely.
So anyway, back to the cast, villain-wise,
we had William DeFoe as General George DeCert,
and I think William DeFoe could maybe go down in history
as one of the best villain actors.
- He kills it, man.
There's some moments in the script where you see him
like acting his best with crappy dialogue,
but he acts his way through it, like he's believable.
I have Ice Cube, Samuel L. Jackson, and DeCert,
'cause I couldn't write Willem DeFoe
because he's that good of a character acting.
- He could embody the character.
- Anyone at all.
And then a lesser known role, which he didn't even get much
like on the high end D page was Michael Roof as Agent Toby,
who was the geeky white agent that was working on.
- Oh, the nerd.
- Oh, the nerd.
He was the first one, he was the second one,
and really, I really, I like this character.
Like I like that.
- He's a good sidekick.
- Yeah, I would have loved a little bit more,
like there should have been, if they wanted to add
like feelings and emotion to this movie,
which I get that they probably did the right good.
- That's chick stuff, dude.
- You're not doing that here.
- They were like, we don't wanna do that.
But what they could have done is they could have added
a scene, 'cause he's the only one torn up
that Zander Cage was dead.
- Yeah, the only one that cared.
- And at one point, Ice Cube could have somehow consoled them.
- Consulted them, or I thought maybe it was gonna be the trope
of all the buddy gets kidnapped, or he's held hostage,
and it's emotional leveraging.
Nope, nope, they never touched on any of that.
- Yeah.
- And if we're gonna take a real dark turn before we give
the show, we have to love it.
But when I saw this in Michael Rift, I was like,
why is it an e-created?
Why isn't there a picture in it and why isn't it?
So I looked them up, it turns out he passed away
on June 9th, 2009.
And the suicide, he hung himself and left,
like landed up to leave himself like an elementary school.
- Oh my God.
- And smelled a little Georgia.
- And this is the guy who played which character?
The sidekick?
- The sidekick?
- Yeah.
- So apparently he had a lot of depression.
The good job hiding that darkness, 'cause it did not show up.
- And apparently he was pretty concerned about money issues
and stuff like that and just--
- Geez.
- Thanks.
All right, that's fun.
- And in addition to that darkness,
that thing that really stuck out to me is,
in the past month, I've been to Snowville twice.
(laughs)
- Wow.
- Yeah, keep your sunny disposition about you.
- I mean, Jesus.
So here's some trivia, just about the movie,
a Vin Diesel and director Rob Cohen's,
who had been there from the first movie,
signed on for the film two months before it started,
both ended up leaving the project,
the former state that he hated the script.
- I can see you.
- So Vin Diesel,
apparently he's like, "If Vin Diesel says his script is done."
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
(laughs)
- If he's saying no, you got a bad script.
- You got a bad script.
But another perhaps more diplomatic reason
is to why Vin Diesel wasn't into it.
Vin Diesel was busy with the pacifier,
which came out in 2005, which was why he was absent
for the film.
It's another thing I heard.
So either both are neither of those are tripped.
- So pacifier, Vin Diesel thought was a better script
than this triple-leg state of the union, got it.
- Absolutely.
Yep.
- I'm leaving this podcast.
(laughs)
I am quitting this podcast.
- She didn't feel the script was good enough.
She was like, "No, she's gonna go start a pacifier podcast."
- Love it, love it.
- And then here's another scene, or another trick.
- He's thinking, "You are giving me everything,
and I'm, I'm, keep going."
- Okay, you're welcome.
In the initial NSA break-in scenes,
and some other scenes later, the music,
in the music, "Morse code, you're spilling out,
XXX2, several times."
- That is the nerdiest.
- No.
- No.
That's a good fun fact.
That's good.
- That is so dumb.
And also like, when you were like,
- Sounds down, designer, taking their job way too seriously.
- People were like, "There's no thoughts put into these movies,
actually."
- There is.
- What kills me is--
- There is.
- The audience member would be sitting there like,
"Wait a minute."
Dude, dude, dude, that's triple X.
Stay the union, dude.
- But like when you look it up,
they give you the like, writing of the Morse
as if anyone's gonna be like, "Oh, that's just a verify it,
just in case you wanna match your hunch."
- Yeah, absolutely.
- But most code.
- Absolutely.
- In 2009.
- So another trivia fact,
Zander Cage's phrase from Triple X,
"The things I'm gonna do for my country is echoed,
"by Darius in one scene when he takes a shower at Charlie's house."
- Right, when she's trying to seduce him,
that he wants a fries and shake.
- Yeah, I'm so sick of seducing.
- Yeah, we were talking about it in our last week.
We're so tired of like,
the romance in these action movies or lack their own.
- Oh, it's terrible.
- Yeah, it's kind of like that little one.
- No, I do like that phrase came up in both movies,
and I can only hope that it's said again in the third movie.
- I'm sure they will.
I mean, why make a third one,
if you're not gonna call back that awesome line?
- Absolutely.
There's some movie reviews.
I did, like I said,
there's a lot of in-depth movie reviews
about the hate for this movie,
and I didn't feel like reading all of them.
So I'll be honest, I did.
This is a podcast, not an audio book.
So instead I brought us one bad movie review,
but I also brought us one,
"Dobatably Good Movie Review."
And you'll see what I mean when I say "Dibative."
So the bad review,
it says, "Thanks to the woke movement,
this kind of quality,
is what we're gonna have to get you to do."
The action kept me going through it.
Oh yeah, ice cube, don't perform any stunts at all,
until you start working out at a gym.
You're in bad shape,
even editing couldn't help you.
- I love that someone's blaming this on "Wokeness,"
this movie, 'cause of their way of thinking,
I thought when I was watching "Triplex"
that a universe, this is too woke,
they're too socially conscious.
- Wait, what year did this come out?
This movie came out in 2005, but now it's in 2005.
I remember looking back at the review, it was just a year ago.
- Okay, but they're using "Woke"
and the movie came out in 2005,
technically what they should be using,
using was a formative action.
- Hey, yeah.
- They're gonna use the issue.
- They're gonna use the issue, so,
because the slurs have changed.
- Yeah, no, you gotta use different terminology.
- He's looking back to 2005 with a 2024 mindset.
- Why?
- I do love that,
that almost 20 years later,
he's still like, "Oh, people gotta know about this movie."
And how "Woke" this is ruining Hollywood.
- Right, this is the movie.
- This is where it all started.
- I can guarantee you.
- In the "Triplex" trilogy.
- I just wanna know, once he saw "Icecube,"
did he watch the rest of the movie?
- He says the action.
- Or did he just pause it on "Icecube's face"
and start writing the review?
- He started writing the review.
- Possibly, yeah.
- What a weird thing to be prejudiced about.
- That's crazy, man.
You got 20-year-old prejudice that you're gonna drag up?
- Yeah, that's...
- No, we'll bring it back into a more affirming place.
This is a good review.
He says, "To me, I call this film Realistic Fiction,
and I really like Realistic Fiction.
110% better than Marvel and DC."
I'm like, "This guy saw this movie."
And he's like, "That's gonna happen."
- I like that.
And I also like that he thinks he invented the term Realistic Fiction.
That's been a literary term for years.
- I mean, that guy, that guy, you can't just...
- No, actually, I was falling.
- What does he think?
Hello?
- Yeah, everything in this movie is plausible.
Everything's realistic from when he jumps the boat
out of the river up onto the bridge,
to when he jumps and just catches himself
on a helicopter jumping out of prison.
- The diving through explosions?
- Yeah, yeah, no, it's believable.
The same way in Fast and Furious,
they'll point to a whiteboard with a bunch of numbers on it,
be like, "You see the math?
It's right there."
- They say it's mathematically true, then it has to be.
- Right, they're just summarizing for time or whatever.
- Yes, well, you all who have been with us for a while,
and especially maybe you're someone like Zack's biggest fan,
so that's why you're tuning in to this episode.
You know that whenever Zack's home usually
- We give you that, CJ.
- No, I'm laughing at the fact that what you just said,
I was just, he's like, "I'm not laughing at you,
I'm not gonna go wearing..."
- Yes, fans are ridiculous.
Ice cube jumping the boat on the bridge is more believable than that.
- Wait, she's not.
- Yes.
We have a tradition and it's usually we give the guest
a plot summary to read, but whenever Zack Williams is on our podcast.
- I like to write my own.
- He writes his own and it is never disappointed.
And I want to give a special shout out to him too though,
because I forgot to text him to ask him to do this.
And so when I was watching the movie last night,
I was like, crap, I guess I'll just get right in.
- I just assumed that's what you expected me to do.
- Hey, we need to be broady.
I am above and beyond.
He'd make a good triple X.
- Yeah.
- I don't know about that, I can read.
- I like that.
(laughing)
- Fan you though.
- Pretty well, you know, I can read my handwriting.
Yeah, we got a few pages to get through,
so should we dive in?
- Let's dive in like Ice Cube at the end of the minute.
- Got it, so we open on a farmhouse
and then from there, it goes zero to 60 real fast
because we have these tech ninjas
and they're attacking an underground base
under the farmhouse, they're attacking Samuel L. Jackson
with these CGI drones.
That was cool, a little future sequence.
Samuel L. Jackson and a nerd, they get away
in a Chrome Spy Car GTO.
Samuel L. and the nerd decide they need a new triple X
and we learn that triple X is basically
the dread pirate Roberts, right?
- All right, you know what?
What I'm not gonna do is sit here for this.
What I'm not gonna do is--
- That's what he is though.
- What I'm not gonna do is--
- Like you just put on the triple X tattoo
and then you're the new guy.
It's a rotating door of Nerduels
that are trying to turn their life around.
- You know that's one of my favorite words in the world.
Nerduels? - Nerduels?
That's one.
Might be the first time I've heard it.
It's a good one.
- I love Nerduels.
- It's a great old timey term.
Who look in's?
Rap scallion?
- No, rap scallion.
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So then we find our favorite rap scallion, Ice Cube,
is in jail.
- Yeah.
- Just walking through jail.
- There you go.
- Doing him.
And then we get the title sequence,
which I don't know if you guys caught this in the title sequence
when it gives the triple X logo, the movie is,
it says triple X the next level.
- Right.
- It says that in the title sequence.
- That was it?
- That was the original title for it.
They changed it and the U.S.
- And they just never told the graphics guy,
like, oh, you need to update.
Because I like pause the movie.
Like, am I watching the right triple X?
- Way.
That's all I didn't notice that,
but it makes sense because in everywhere other than the U.S.,
it's triple X the next level.
- Because the state of the union,
they don't know how to turn.
Okay, that makes sense.
Yeah, that threw me for a loop.
That to me, like from the title sequence,
is it was all getting already getting lazy.
- I got ready.
- So then after the title sequence,
we jumped to the White House and the president
is informed of attack by Willem Dafoe,
the the Decart character.
And then he walks into the Oval Office and declares,
this is no longer a budget meeting.
We're gonna talk about national security.
And no one leaves.
No one like, oh, well, I guess this meeting isn't for me
and leaves like they just all pulled their papers away.
Like I guess we're gonna listen to this now.
- That's right.
- And then it proceeded to discuss national security
and the president's like,
we have a state of the union this week.
So now we've introduced, just the title of the movie,
and he creates a sense of urgency.
So that was good script writing.
Samuel L. Jackson.
- Say that.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm not lying to you.
- Which you know how like, okay,
have you ever seen, you know, the drink at the store,
the pure and it says, pure on the, on the pure,
it is a juice and it's just, it says, pure.
Did you know it's not pure?
It's Mr. Pure.
- No, I didn't know that.
- That's what I'm saying.
I never knew that thing was like on the,
on the bottle it says, Mr. Pure.
- See, and I feel like that's a similar thing
to what happened with this movie
because when I read in the Wikipedia,
said there were two like drastically different scripts.
And I thought they had just decided like,
oh, we're gonna go with this script
and they just never told the marketing
or graphics department like.
- I'm agreeing with you on that.
- Yeah, there seems to be some miscommunication.
- Kind of like how, kind of like how little mermaid
didn't change, no, they did change their graphic.
- They did?
- Yeah, they had to change it from the penis to the,
oh, on the front of the, oh yes.
- Yeah, yeah, the Disney cover.
- Disney cover, yeah.
- So right, so Samuel L. Jackson,
he goes to Recruit Ice Cube, he goes to the prison
and we learn that they share a military history
in their late, last mission didn't go well.
Samuel L. Jackson tells Ice Cube,
he's gonna bust him out of jail.
And it cuts to the base back in the farmhouse
and the NSA is after Samuel L. Jackson.
- I also wanna interject that something you said
at the last spot review at Torque and F9
was all these movies seemed to start out in a farmhouse.
And so far your logic hasn't been wrong.
- See, and that's, here's my thinking.
I think this was like originally gonna be
another fast and furious film script
'cause there's so many scenes with cars.
- Yeah.
- Just car, automobile, worship.
And then I feel like they just
hired a guy to like fill in the blanks on the script
and he just wanted to do a spy thriller.
So we get this weird Frankenstein movie.
That's what it feels like.
- I don't know where the president came from,
but keep going.
- Yeah, so, okay, so then we cut to,
they're gonna break him out of jail.
So Ice Cube beats up multiple military personnel
and ascends the roof of a maximum security military prison
before jumping to catch a ride on Samuel L. Jackson's helicopter.
- Yeah, it's because you know.
Because that's how you break out of jail.
- We were watching the movie,
and Marit was like, he could have done this the whole time.
Like, 'cause he beats up several guards
and makes his way up to the roof like no trouble at all.
- Also, can we just say about the guy who was about to do his job
and shoot him and then someone was like, don't do it.
- Yeah, yeah, his buddy's like, where is he gonna go?
And then a helicopter sneaks up on the prison
as helicopters and notorious for doing.
No one is sorry.
- I kind of thought he said, that's why he said,
I'm so sorry about what's about to happen.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I think that one officer needs to kind of get fired
for not doing this.
- But he didn't get fired.
- Yeah, the death of the guy who like stopped him
from shooting a prisoner, but--
- Don't do it.
- Yeah, yeah, no, no, it's fine.
Why waste the bullet?
Okay, so then,
Ice Cube basically communicates like, I've been in prison.
You know, there's something,
I've been locked up once to do.
I wanna fries and shake and then they cut to him
just go into town.
- Yeah, it's very calmly.
Yeah, just very, just this is who I am.
- Yeah, I would say making love to that burger
for Faisal Shake.
- It wasn't even, it was like he was eating it.
He was just like rubbing it in his face.
- Yeah, it was quite the display.
- Yeah.
- And then he just declares himself leader of the group.
He's like, you college boy, you ain't in charge
and like Samuel Jackson, he tells him,
so now he's the leader of the group now.
- Why would he not be?
- He's a guy.
- Yeah, he was just in prison.
- Yeah, nobody, there's like, wait, hold on.
Okay, he said,
- Samuel Jackson's,
'cause he's such an, oh wait.
- He's like, okay.
- Because he's such an alpha male.
There's a word.
- That is a word.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- I mean, I feel like it wasn't as like,
it was the first one we leased it out there then.
- Well,
- Nair Dewell?
- Nair Dewell, oh, nothing is as good as Nair Dewell
or Rap Scalien.
- Those are great words.
- Hooligan.
- That should be the next one.
Triple X Rap Scalien crew.
- Oh gosh, that'd be good.
- They could all be British.
- British kids.
- British kids, yeah, little pick pockets.
- In the Sorcerer's zone.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
- Is that a Dom McLean zone?
- Yeah, it's true.
- Yeah.
Okay, so then now the ice cubes in charge,
they go to a chop shop
in an economically challenged neighborhood.
That's the nicest way to say that.
- They know what he's trying to say is they know who.
- And they meet exhibit.
And he's there pimping people's rides.
And he's working in a chop shop
that seemingly only employs women and skirts.
Like they're all dressed like they're going out
to a nightclub, but they're like.
- Working on cars.
- Creating sparks, working on cars.
Which side note about that?
How did exhibit get passed over
for the lead in this role?
- He has an in his name.
- Yeah, that's true.
- I feel so bad for him.
Like, you imagine the call that he got of like,
hey exhibit, we want you to be part of this movie,
Triple X.
- Well, we just want you to pip their ride.
- Right, you're just in there a couple of scenes.
No, no, no, it's not about you.
No, sorry.
- So I'm exhibit, but I can't be in an episode.
- Triple X, yeah.
- Okay, yeah, yeah.
- And I think that's messed up
'cause he has some stuff under his belt,
right?
- He's an actor.
I mean, yeah, I think he had the show at that time.
- Yeah.
- So clearly he's got a persona.
When you saw him in the movie, you're like, he could,
I mean, he acted well.
- I think he smiles too much though.
Ice Cube, they have to get him to smile.
They have to get him to stop smiling.
- Yeah.
- And it's a tougher sell.
- Yeah.
- So you need them both.
I mean, it's a sequel, so you need two Triple X's.
- Mm-hmm, you got a balanced amount.
- One and half an inch.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I'm exhibit head.
At least a couple of craters under his belt.
At least.
- Yeah, no, he was comfortable.
He was a good actor, but again, very smiley.
So, okay, so then Ice Cube goes to find
his old chop-shop girlfriend, but she's a successful
custom car designer now.
Like she's legit, and she wants nothing to do with him,
but agrees to help in exchange for the GTO.
And that, similar to torque, I've learned that
as woke as this film is, it doesn't matter
what kind of dirt-back criminal you are.
The moment you show up to your ex-girlfriends,
new place of business, and new life, they don't care.
They have willing to overlook all mistakes.
They're gonna take you back, even though you still
have nothing to offer.
- I mean, this woman had an amazing life for herself.
She had built a nine-year, she's got all these fancy cars,
she's a business woman, she's killing it.
- She had it put together.
- And as soon as Ice Cube walks back into her life.
- Just immediately crumbles.
- You know who that woman was?
Do you know that, her name?
- I did, when I looked it up, but I don't remember.
It was me.
- Is this another Korean whatever,
or a man apart?
- No.
- It's a situation.
- I'm surprised.
- You love music.
- Okay.
- Who is it?
- Marvin Gaye's daughter.
- I did not know that, that's what it was called.
- I was known.
- No, not gay.
- I'm a gay.
- And she do a lot, like the--
- She's been in a couple of movies.
- She looked familiar.
I couldn't, I couldn't like,
- That's known as-- - I've seen her before, but--
- That's known as--
- Okay.
- Oh, that's known as, that's Marvin Gaye's daughter.
- She did all right.
It's the chemistry of her and Ice Cube.
- Here's the thing, Ice Cube cannot have chemistry with women.
- Why do you think that is?
- Because he just doesn't feel like it.
- He's too aggressive.
- No, he's not aggressive at all.
He's been with the same woman since,
I don't know for how long.
He's been with his-- - Oh, in real life.
- In real life, he's been with the same woman
since today, you know, today was a good day.
- So he's just a man of integrity.
- He just, he's just not going, he's just like,
mmm, I love you.
That should be enough.
- Yeah, no, that reads, yeah, but--
- Whereas some men are, their love language
is a touch of courage.
His is, you should know it.
That's his love language.
His love languages is exactly it.
- Yeah, trust me.
- Trust me.
- Trust me.
- Okay.
(laughing)
That's it, that's it.
All right. - I believe you.
So, yeah.
- Yeah, so, okay, so they agreed to shade the GTO
for like, placed a crash.
Samuel L. Jackson tells Ice Cube
the plan to recover files from the farm bunker.
And then cut to Ice Cube's outside the house
and the sidekick's like, oh, we need to go in subtle, whatever.
No, not his style.
Real quick action sequence, rocket to car,
repel, hard drive, running, hopping fences, boat, explosion,
nerd getting chased by cop cars.
And then Ice Cube jumps the boat onto the bridge
and now Ice Cube's driving.
- Yeah. - That all happens in like seven minutes.
It's just-- - It's cool thing.
- It's a crazy action sequence where he,
jumps it over, I guess a ramp truck that's just--
- He's out there. - And the ramp, realistic fiction.
He was able to get it onto the ramp, but ready.
- Totally believe.
- I'm just having--
- And then we see pictures of Ice Cube
and we learn that the NSA is now learning Huys Cube is
and connecting him to Samuel L. Jackson.
Side note, the, you didn't cover the character
of the NSA agent, Kyle Steele?
- Yeah, Kyle Steele.
- Yeah.
- He was the guy.
- Yeah, he was the main guy.
- I don't know the actor's name.
I was just, it occurred to me the names.
There's like a common theme, maybe I'm reaching, but--
- You're not, I know where you're going.
- I'm going, Kyle Steele.
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah. - Or, heady bone.
I mean, it's all, valet just--
- Oh, you are a small, small, red and blue, the line.
- I'm not alone in that.
All right, good deal.
That's validating. - That's fine.
- That makes me feel good now that I'm real,
that's fun. - Yeah.
- Yeah, fun.
Okay, keep going.
- So NSA, Samuel L. Jackson goes home
and is ambushed by Decker, who reveals his plan
for a military coup and apparently kills Samuel L. Jackson
in a house fire.
- Yeah.
- And then this is just a side note, you know,
on the theme of like, made up places,
the reporter who's reporting Samuel L. Jackson's death,
she goes, oh, news coming out of Chevy Chase, Maryland.
And I had to look up.
- Is the other one on the answer?
- That's a real place.
And it's apparently not at all related to Chevy Chase.
He's not named after the town,
the town's not named after him.
It's just this crazy coincidence
that Chevy Chase is the name of a place in Maryland.
And they, the same, he's back with his film,
but,
- Have you changed that?
- Yeah.
- He's back checking you.
Keep going.
No, I'm not.
I just need to see exactly
what this place is.
I would never, now that's nothing that you can't make that up.
- No, no, no.
But it's still weird that someone,
when they were riding this movie, they're like,
- We're in Maryland,
she would say that, that murder took place.
- Yeah, murder for the place.
- Chevy Chase, Chevy Chase.
Okay.
- So on the hard drive,
IQ finds pictures on hidden film,
they're now looking for Charlie.
So they go to Samuel L. Jackson's funeral
and they see that Charlie is a blonde woman.
That's a big surprise.
- And never in the entire movie
do they explain Charlie's significance to this plot?
- Wow.
- Yeah, no, they kinda, I guess they breezed over it.
'Cause yeah, she's just--
- My theory is there was a significant deleted scene
or something, but like, 'cause they were like,
Charlie, that's someone that you look for.
And then they're like, oh, it's her.
And then we never know.
- What her connection is, or how she got it, yeah, no.
It's just a plot hole.
So, IQ confronts Charlie at a nice restaurant
and then an NRA version of Steven Miller shows up
and IQ get out.
- You know I'm talking about.
He had like the crazy ball.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Another example of the good,
he gets so much backstory for that short little time.
- Oh, just at this thing and all the,
- Oh, it's me.
- Through me off about this scene was IQ
when he's confronted by the,
(laughing)
he immediately switches to like his Southern accent.
(laughing)
Southern Baptist preacher and does like the craziest
Southern accent to sell this guy on it.
It just, it felt like it was AI.
- I mean, watching it, like,
- I watching a commercial for another minute.
- Yeah, I couldn't,
- I got a look at him.
- Didn't match the sounds coming out of it.
It was weird.
- No.
- But yeah, that was easily some of the most disturbing
acting and the whole thing.
- By the way, if you were looking for that actor
in that scene,
- You already know I had a hard time finding him.
So good luck.
- Damn it.
- So,
- You know what,
it's,
could it because he's uncredited?
- He's was uncredited.
- He's fine, so.
- I know, that was,
I was like,
there were so many people that did so much less
than that movie that got criticized that he didn't.
- Poor guy.
- Yeah.
- Well,
Charlie agrees to help IQ get close to Deckard.
- I will find him.
- Okay.
- Okay, so then we jumped to like a dinner party
and IQ is a waiter now
and he overhears Deckard
and a general discussing the coup.
IQ gets recognized in fleas
and Charlie takes him to her place.
IQ remains loyal to fries and a shake.
- Because it was in and out.
- Oh, there you go.
- It was it.
- Maybe.
Maybe that could be why?
- But do you see a thing?
- Oh, the truth is,
so then maybe it was Wendy's,
I don't know.
- Oh?
- I don't know, it could be.
What I thought was interesting about this is,
I didn't like write down all the occurrences of it,
but there was a line in this where like,
the security guard is like trying to find IQ and he goes,
like,
oh, I'm looking for a black guy in a jacket
and someone like,
and that's just a sea of black guys in a jacket.
- And it fell like throughout the film,
IQ kept having to remind everyone that he's black
'cause he kept having lines where he would just sort of nod to that.
I don't know.
- Like, yo, I'm black.
- Yeah, yeah, just like,
I don't do that 'cause I'm black.
- True, we know, we see, we see.
We're watching the movie.
- Don, just gotta say something about it.
- Yeah, but I can't find it.
I can't find it.
- I did like that.
That was maybe the most realistic fiction part of the scene,
where like, that was a good way to get out
was instead of dressing up as like the suit and tie,
like what she was expecting,
like be like a politician,
he dressed up as a waiter,
so that when he was escaping, he was able,
that and the,
when you mentioned--
- I got to, there's another thing I thought
is a reoccurring triple X theme.
- But the other thing that I noticed is the general
that Deckert was meeting with,
his name is either Petabone or Petibone.
- Petabone.
- Who you listen to, 'cause I speak Petabone.
- Petabone.
- Yeah, but Willem Dafose as Petabone,
and I think you just had a director
that didn't wanna correct either of them.
- Because I think, okay.
- You're close to intimidating for me to talk to.
- Okay.
- I think it's Petabone.
- I like Petabone better.
- I think I like Petabone better.
- It's funny here to say, so yeah, Petabone.
- We have officially on this podcast declared.
- It is Petabone, general.
- General.
- General.
- Petabone.
So then, I skew, yeah, that's where he gets,
so he goes back to the house with Charlie.
She kind of tries to seduce him.
He's loyal to his fries and shake.
So then he takes a shower and then it comes out
and finds a gun on the ground
and then finds General Petabone.
- I'm supposed to get his man over here.
- What?
This is the way you said it is like,
this is what happened, right?
- He's literally just telling us the plot.
- He just makes it up like, what's got Charlie, where you at?
And then, so it's weird to pick up a gun and then
- I've been open to say, maybe bring your own
or like don't.
- Yeah, don't estranged home.
Why are you picking up firearms?
And.
- Charlie.
- No.
- He's so sexy.
- Yeah.
- Shoot.
So then he discovers General Petabone dead in the house
and that Charlie has set him up.
So she was a bad guy, she was a bad guy.
An NSA agent Kyle Steele shows up and tries to talk to Ice Cube.
Ice Cube, so he like tries to talk to him.
I guess they kind of form a friendship or whatever.
He leaves and then Ice Cube throws off the guards,
heat maps like the SWAT team coming in
with microwaved meats that he just sent a bathtub
and they go, read that as a heat signal.
- Yeah, they microwaved.
- Yeah, yeah, he's microwaved.
Do we think that would work?
- No.
- No.
- Here's the theory I have about these movies.
And we'll have to confirm it next week with the Third Triple X
because in the last movie, he stopped one of the villains
because he identified, he told them to redirect their torpedoes
because he knew a man was smoking
and they were heat seeking torpedoes.
And so he's like, oh, just look for a heat signature.
- He's got a cigarette.
- Yep, that's how they stopped to see.
And in this run, he gets away with by heating up meat
and then seeing that, I think maybe the people
that wrote triple X don't know how heat's singing.
- And they're not gonna let it alarm.
- I guarantee you, they're not researching this.
- I mean, we have to research,
you can just go get somebody to do it now.
Like, just go get somebody to do, just go, yeah.
But that was funny.
- To get anyone to fact check any of this film,
it wouldn't take 10 minutes.
I mean, I don't know, according to our good review,
it was pretty realistic.
- So it was realistic, but too woke.
- In my life in 2025.
- So he distracts them with the microwave meat
and hiding in a freezer and he escapes in a swat uniform.
- Of course.
- Another Hitman instance where he's changing costumes
and whatnot.
So Ice Cube realizes that Decker is using the general's funeral
as a cover for the coup tells the nerd non-verbally
to hack into the department of defense.
- Yeah, that's what got me the not the...
- You want me to what?
- Yeah.
- Literally just reads his mind
'cause Ice Cube can communicate that way.
- I think it's like, it's like,
like, looking out at it.
- You can convey a lot of information.
So he put this all together in like five minutes.
Like he gets back, it still is swat uniform.
Like, I think I figured out how everything is gonna go down now.
- Yeah.
- Because I'm not smart.
But then he was a Navy SEAL.
- Yeah.
- And then my favorite thing was the nerd.
He has like a whole hacker sequence where he's like,
numbers on a screen, moving a mouse, numbers clicking,
clicking the keys, multiple screens, data, data,
and then he comes back like, I got it.
- And we're like, that makes sense.
- Right, yeah, that's totally what I was saying.
- Because why would you not, why would you not?
- That's how you hack.
- Yeah, that's how you hack.
- And like while he was hacking,
Ice Cube was trying to get his ex to get,
her to like talk sexy about cars and she did.
So they were kinda like starting to get together
and then hacker dude interrupted it.
- That when I said the second best ride of my life
and that's the best ride of my life.
- That's how I do it.
- And we're all the damage we did in the back seat.
Like all in you window, I think it's a PG 13 film.
- It is.
- It can only go so far with the adjo.
- Ice Cube speaking sexually in you window is just really--
- It's still aggressive.
- It's uncomfortable.
- Yeah, it is.
- It's not gonna lie as fun as that man is.
It's just like, I'm just talking like--
- Just talking like wooing as much as you can.
- No, no man.
- No, no man.
- No, like I know.
- Yeah.
- And I'm pretty sure it even wouldn't be,
it could be the sweetest, like funniest person,
but his stare.
- His intensity.
- His intensity.
He's got a, he's professionally,
I was like a left that's up when he was--
- Yeah, and that to me is like that--
- He always looks like he's just investigating a burning smell.
Like you just-- - You just always me personally,
I love, 'cause I love that look,
but I just don't know if I want him saying,
"Yeah, you know what I'm saying?"
(laughing)
- Yeah, I know you like, I'm like--
- I think I do and I wish I did it.
(laughing)
I don't know if I want him in my, you're like--
- Game we're playing, but I don't wanna.
- I'm okay, babe.
I love you.
Let's just, whatever one-- - We'll get to that.
- That's the kind of man who says,
"I'm in charge."
I'm like, "Okay."
- Okay.
You got a bud.
- So I'm not vegan anymore?
(laughing)
- So they, they, with the hack on the Department of the Vence,
they learn that there's an aircraft carrier on the Potomac
that is carrying all of Deckert's weapons and army.
Deckert discovers that Samuel L. Jackson and his platoon members,
I'm sorry, Ice Cube goes onto the aircraft carrier
and discovers Samuel L. Jackson
and his other platoon members can find below Deck,
but is caught by Charlie who's now wearing black leather
so that we know she's a bad guy.
(laughing)
And then we get our first setup for a callback,
which is the line, you should have killed that bitch.
Samuel L. - Oh yeah, yeah, that's exactly what Jackson says that.
- Yeah, 'cause Ice Cube just only hits Charlie
with the, the only, what's the web series?
Which is not enough for Samuel L.
- That also felt really aggressive.
I was like, was that in-problem?
Like, (laughing)
- Yeah, she really rolled up on the bunches.
- I'm not gonna lie though, I kind of agree with Sam on that one.
This, in this, she was wrong.
- He should have, - Yeah, yeah.
- He could have shot her and like-
- Should have been done with it.
- Yeah, I mean, all the casualties that have occurred
and saving- - This is 'cause you didn't kill that woman.
- Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, he could, anyway.
I'm not gonna tell Triple X how to be Triple X.
(laughing)
But I have thought.
- We just, you know, I don't say
Triple X how to do it.
- Yeah.
- They didn't steal me from prison to save the world.
- Yeah, you didn't climb up up up up.
- They didn't give you a fries and shakes.
- Yeah, yeah, no.
- No, Wendy's, yeah.
(laughing)
- Bacon, it sounds pretty good right now, anyway.
- Yeah, it is.
- So, yeah, she hits the alarm and then Ice Cube runs away
and he escapes from the aircraft carrier by driving a tank
and then launching that tank into another tank.
- Of course, yeah.
- That was a pretty cool action sequence.
I liked that. - That was fun.
- And then now we go to DC and it's state of the Union day
and the president, he wants to be humanitarian.
He's like, oh, we got a converter,
enemies in allies, da da da da,
and Decker wants isolationism.
So like, they're at odds and we cut to steel
who's just boxing, I guess, sparring or whatever.
He gets a call and he's supposed to go meet up with Ice Cube
in some parking garage and Ice Cube meets up with steel.
He gives him a map of the attack plan,
steel hesitates and Ice Cube immediately walks.
This is one of the few friends he has left
and he's like, you hesitated, bitch.
- Yeah, just walk slowly.
- He doesn't have time for that kind of nonsense.
- Yeah, yeah, I can't have no unenthusiastic people in my crew.
So then steel, he verifies the intel.
He sees the list of names, then sees like,
oh, it is in fact Decker's army,
which is gonna be working the funeral ever
and then Decker shows up to talk to him
and they're kind of suspicious of one another.
So now we cut to Ice Cube who is recruiting exhibit
and crew to stop the coup attack.
They decided to stop a secret military 18 wheeler
to get guns, that's where we see Bruce Bruce.
Which they thought they were hauling cheese.
Which when they, oh, like press a little button,
it opens up so they thought that an 18 wheeler
was actually this wide, just storing cheese.
But as much of guns and stuff.
- Bruce Bruce, that's not what she is.
- Yeah, they did great.
- So then Decker's plan is to do the coup
and frame Samuel L. Jackson, Ice Cube and Exhibit,
Jacket Tank, and that's a big deal
'cause they saw his first tank out.
- Yeah, I'm about to say yeah, I like it.
- Pretty iconic.
And then while that's going on,
the state of the union's going on
and then the lights go out,
it's basically January 6th, they all attack the capital
and then the attack gets,
- Jesus Christ.
- It's all productive programming.
They have to show it in the movies
before it happens in real life
so that we're more dissenters.
- Jesus Christ.
(laughs)
- So the attack gets interrupted.
And we hear again the second time,
you should have killed that bitch, right?
And then-- - Of course, after he does, right?
- He does, yeah.
- Samuel L. Jackson does in fact,
- Yeah. - Little bit.
And then we learn that the president
has a presidential bullet train
and that's the second instance
of something that you could count as sci-fi.
If for 2005, the first being the CGI drones,
and I just want to point out that we have the drones now,
but we still don't have bullet trains
as public transportation.
So we're, we're, we're one for two.
- We're good there, yeah.
- Just high-entific predictions from Chipotlex.
Ice cubes, chop shop girlfriend, she gives him
a half a million dollar car, he destroys it.
- She destroys.
- Just obliterates that thing.
- Pursuing the bullet train.
Ice cube--
- She's still in love with him.
- She's still in love with him.
- 'Cause why was she not-- - 'Cause why was she not?
- All his flaws, someday he'll get his life together,
but not today.
Nickelback.
So then Ice cube, he makes it onto the train,
he's getting into a fight with like,
records, you know, number two or whatever.
And then at some point, Ice cube cuts like an airline
in-- (laughing)
- And then it cuts to the driver of the train.
- It does.
- We don't have breaks anymore.
- Yeah, it does, it does, it does.
- It's just gonna be the same way.
I was about to get--
- How did you cut the gas line and now the brakes don't work?
- That's-- - Okay.
- That's not where.
- Yeah, the-- - Realistic fiction.
- Realistic fiction, yeah, it's a new thing.
And then they rescue the president.
They take him away on a helicopter
and they blow up the presidential bullet train
with Deckard on it, he's dead.
And then steel gets a medal of honor.
Deckard is remembered as a hero.
Ice cube is an unknown soldier
who gets some kind of accolade.
And then Samuel L. Jackson and the nerd
are back at the base,
discussing the next triple X.
- All right.
- And that's where the film ends,
setting it up beautifully for the third in the trip.
- I don't know how they're gonna bring Vin Diesel back to it.
- Well, I don't know because he's America's last hope.
- And he's dead and born.
- Yeah, and born.
- I would love, I would have loved,
I don't think this is the case unless I'm wrong.
But I wanna see a movie now with Vin Diesel and Ice Cube.
- Oh, yeah.
- Triple X. - Triple X.
- So yes.
- Twintoppel or something?
- Sace X.
- Yeah.
- Hexacon.
Hexacon.
- Hexacon.
- Hexacube or something.
- Hexcube.
- Hexcube.
- Two X, two serious.
I don't know.
- Cheers.
- I mean, you know, with all the NSA,
the top secret,
that everything is top secret in this movie.
- Kind of a bummer though.
Like he's dressed up.
- When he drives off,
when he drives off in the sunset,
it shows a close up of his neck
and he got the XXX tattoo.
- That's when we just like a water market tattooed.
- Yeah.
- Someone just,
- Yeah.
- And then it goes to the next scene
where Samuel and Jack's only got to get a day one.
I'm like, dude, just,
- He's got a tattoo.
- He got something permanent.
He's the new guy.
- Yeah.
- He's the new.
- No, we need a new one.
- He's now America's last hope.
So now what the hell are we gonna do?
- Right.
So, thank you.
That was it.
That's something I felt like I just watched the movie.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- That was the best.
I'm done.
- I'm better at the memories.
- I just have to turn off parts of my brain
when I go to write the summary,
like the part that looks for logic.
- Oh, yeah.
- Just state the facts.
- What you've seen, journalists, Hemingway,
just write this stuff down and report it.
- So CJ, do you have any thoughts
and any things about this movie
that really jumped out to you?
- No, I liked the fact that,
and my boy DeFoe was in it.
And he's good.
- He's one of my favorite actors, honestly.
So I next to Samuel DeFoe.
- Fantastic.
- Yeah, he's amazing.
And I think that this could have been a prerequisite
some of his stuff too.
- I said it before.
- He's the green goblin.
- What was funny about watching Willem DeFoe in this
is I was watching my girlfriend.
And first I make sure he goes on screen,
and I'm sorry, this is crass, but she goes,
"Oh, there's Willem DeFoe.
He's gonna save the day with his big old dick."
(laughing)
And like, I just kinda like didn't really acknowledge
the first time, but then we see him again.
She goes, "There he is with his big old dick."
I was like, "What is wrong with you?"
And she proceeds to tell me this story.
So you know Willem DeFoe did Passion of the Christ, right?
- Yeah.
- Apparently when he was doing that film,
when he was up on the cross, they had to use a body double
because he was so well endowed
that the director was like, "This is a distraction."
- That's hysterical.
- Yeah.
- I didn't even know he was there.
- Willem.
- So that's where that, that--
- I didn't know he was in Passion of the Christ.
- He wasn't the main person.
- Or maybe the last temptation of Christ.
- Okay. - The one.
- Yeah, Jim Cavisil.
Jim Cavisil.
- That's like, that's on me.
- That's on me, so.
- I was like, "I, how did I miss him?"
- Maybe that's why he's a goblin.
Anyhow.
No, I mean, honestly, this was a decent movie.
I just think that Ice Cube is always,
when it comes to this, this was his right up his alley, right?
- Right.
- This was definitely right up his alley.
- Or just like Ice Cube going, "Parl,
just go talk to them like you would if you were a secret agent."
- I don't even know if they get--
- If the plot points, if you don't, it's fine,
will we write it?
- Yeah, I don't even know if they gave him a script of lines.
It just feels like he just said,
literally whatever the fuck he wanted.
- That, and I really, when you watch it,
the editing is so short, they have a scene or a shot
that goes longer than 10 seconds,
because I guarantee you there was someone off script,
they're like, "You need to say stay to the union."
Nice, 'cause I forgot it.
- All right.
- Good, that's a long time.
- Yeah, I think Ice Cube walked in there
and said, "Let's get one thing straight.
I'm in charge."
- Yeah, you're not the director.
Yeah, like, he's our guy.
- They're like, "He's perfect."
- Our guy, he's a damn not a guy.
- He's in character already.
- Yeah, no, I mean, those are my thoughts.
I honestly, probably the cool,
the them doing the cool thing was probably my favorite part
of it, like all of that action and stuff right there.
Honestly, and then him taking the mid sandwich break.
- Yeah, just the sandwich break.
- Just the stop and just get a sandwich,
'cause, or the burger, the burger.
- Yeah, that's what it was, yeah.
- Yeah, the burger, like twice in the plot.
He was like, hold on a second, I didn't.
- Yeah, like, he did it again.
He did it twice, like, hold on.
I'm hungry.
- Right, it was that bait and switch of like,
oh, you think he's about to get, you know, such a--
- Yeah, but it's actually, I'm really--
- Here's more about food than he does about, you know?
- Yeah, but no, honestly, I don't really,
I mean, 'cause I watched it and I was like,
doing a lot of other stuff.
And so I was just like,
"Wait, what's going on?"
And I had to go back every one, like, shit, shit.
- And then I feel like also,
the thing about it is there was some plot
in consistencies frequently.
So like, I could see you as you're doing other stuff,
like, wait, did I miss something?
You probably didn't.
I probably just, you just take it for like, oh.
- Yeah, 'cause I watched it from top to bottom,
so I liked it.
I just thought I missed some things,
except when he came to all the--
- The script was missing things.
That's what was missing.
- You know what?
- But I like to come--
- Your eyes are fine.
- Okay, so let's rate it.
Too fast, too furious, rating.
What are we giving it?
- Let's go with our illustrious guess first.
- Lustrious.
- Remind me how the rating scale works.
- So too fast is you absolutely loved it.
It was, you best movie ever or A best movie,
or you really liked it.
Fast is you liked it.
Too furious is either you didn't care
or you didn't like it.
And then too furious is you hated it
and your life is less than because of it.
- Yeah, I feel like, again,
I have to compare this to Fast 9 and Torque.
This is a fast one for me because I'm not gonna go watch this
again twice is enough.
But like, again, because I'm comparing it to Fast 9
and Torque, which don't even try to make sense,
this one is surprisingly coherent.
If I put this up against Shawshank Redemption,
yeah, it's a terrible movie, but compared to Torque,
there's a little bit of gray area there.
And I think that's where this triple X
stayed at the union slash triple X
the next level fits.
- Yeah, I have to agree.
Okay.
Like, I just think it was cool.
I'm going with Fast, so I can save on the record.
I think it was cool.
I think it was just, it started off weird or boring for me.
And that's the best way I can describe it.
And then the jail breakout saying was cool,
but it was just very not predictable.
But I was like, I bet you, I bet I knew it.
The love started.
- Yeah, yeah.
- That I didn't like Charlie.
She got on my nerves.
- He shouldn't kill debut.
- She shouldn't have been in the movie.
She said it was a lot to the--
- I just wanted to cue white girls.
- Yeah, she just said 'em out.
That's exactly what it was.
- That's really what it was.
'Cause they, I mean, no, no, to be honest with you,
they could've used no for that.
- Yeah, that could've, she could've been the betrayer.
That would've been-- - She could've been the betrayer.
That would've been even better,
she would've had better reason, too.
- Yeah, she would've had better reason.
You left-- - But you don't have a strong woman
to accept the dirtbag back into their life.
- Oh, that's true, you have to have that.
Or maybe they could've, they could've worked it out.
- They could've, they could've.
- I don't believe it. - It betrayed me,
but I'm going to forgive you.
- Also at the end, you know what I mean?
- Right, she said, you know what I mean?
- She just, her after just, she destroyed one of her half
million dollar cars and then just takes the other one.
- Yeah, she gives them, she gives them, yeah.
And the only other thing that I think I would've wanted,
Bruce Bruce and Jay Anthony to be in the movie
a little bit more. - Yeah.
- Yeah, I could've seen more of them.
- I would, a little more villainous of them.
- That or just any extras when they were actually
like driving through the streets of DC.
- Yeah. - 'Cause when it was inside,
it was like all these extras,
but when they're driving through, no one.
- No, no, no, no.
- So that's just, that's my thoughts.
What about you?
- No, I am, I am on the cush between fast and furious
with this one because like it was fine.
And I really think I'm going to give it a furious
because I've given fast to many of them
and I've liked like the last movie
and the past couple of weeks,
I've given fast to a lot of the riddic movies
and I enjoyed them and this one like I enjoyed
a little bit less. - Yeah.
- So I actually, I'm gonna give it a furious
because I think if I'm trying to be objective,
'cause when it happens, I'm happy
and it's once we start talking about it,
I enjoy talking about it with you guys.
And I'm like, oh no, it was a cool movie.
But when I'm thinking about it objectively,
there were some fun parts that I absolutely enjoyed it
but the parts that kind of like annoyed me
were a little bit more than the parts that.
So I'll give it like a furious,
but like a very high on, like almost.
- A more case, furious.
- Yeah, a more case, f**k.
- And unhappy.
(laughing)
- Yes, cool. - We're a lot of them furious.
- Yes, cool.
- I like the, I especially like the plot that he just gave though.
- Yeah, that was, yeah.
- Thank you, yeah.
- Somehow it made more sense to the movie,
really, really, really.
- Yeah, I'm, again, I'm trying to make it go here
as much as I can, so.
- So we, so we got, I have three scenes,
we're doing Drew's best bets.
- Okay. - Here's the qualifiers.
These are the three most pointless characters.
And then you pick in, you're picking
what I think is the most pointless of the most pointless.
- Okay. - So I guess I should forephrase it.
These are pointless characters
and you're picking what's the most pointless in my opinion.
- Got it. - So, the first one,
and we've already referenced,
actually we didn't reference that one of them,
but we, well, we'll fix that.
The first one we already referenced was,
Charlie's maybe date on that,
like the guy that comes in and starts talking about,
like the-
- Oh, and already Steven Miller, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
And then like, yeah.
- I have to find it.
That's why I could go into my phone.
I'm a fine, he's unlisted on the-
- Yeah, when you see a side by side, it's haunting.
- He's unlisted on the movie,
but like he has such a long monologue for like what he was.
- You know Steven Miller isn't even 40 yet.
- I did not know that.
- That's what hate does to you.
- He's making it make it make-
- I am exiled like 240, so.
- 40 in August.
That man is not even 40 yet.
- Yeah.
- So that is what hate looks like.
- So there's the Steven Miller look alike.
Second character, second option is Charlie in general.
- Right.
- And then the life of me, I kept waiting for them to explain
her point in the movie and they just didn't.
And then the third one, we didn't reference this guy
in the plot summary or maybe you didn't, I missed it.
But it was Lieutenant Alabama, Bama Cops.
And he was like, he was one of the henchmen
for Defoe's character.
There was, and he often was kind of in the background,
just like the back guy, the right-hand man.
But then there was a scene where I see he was doing cool action
stuff and invading the cops or fighting.
And he keeps flashing back to this guy,
getting so angry as if they as a personal vendetta
and his whole plan's falling there.
- Is that on the aircraft carrier?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- As a call, yeah.
- Yeah, and he is just so upset.
And the entire time I'm looking at this, like, this guy.
Like, didn't it?
- Yeah, I noticed that too, because in that whole action sequence,
it kept like close up on him, just like handing shot
of him yelling into a walkie-talkie.
- And I'm just like, oh, okay.
- Yeah, he's the bad guy right now.
- He's the bad guy.
- So, but now, unfortunately,
and in comparison to the one of the other guys I mentioned,
he is accredited in the Svindvian, he does as a name,
which is Lieutenant Bama Cops.
- Yeah, okay.
I'm going with him.
- Here goes him, no, wait.
- I'm going with him and the reason I'm going with him
is because we don't know who he was,
but we should have, because he was there.
- A couple of times, you know what I'm saying?
And his name, I'm going on name, like Steele,
like that Alabama must mean something,
it's a army base in Alabama.
- Right, right.
- So he could maybe, you're going with him.
- So you're going with him for who you think I think
is the most pointless to this?
- Yes, okay.
- I'm going to go with an R.A. Stephen Miller,
because I agree, Bama, he does have relevance
because he's part of that military platoon or whatever,
that Stone and Gibbons were part of with Descartes and Command.
So he's, I think, closer to the most central characters.
If you take Charlie, she's connected to Gibbons,
and ultimately Stone, but her person that she was meeting with,
the only thing that he does is set up Ice Cube
to do that weird Southern accent.
There's nothing else, he's on screen for two minutes.
So I think, for me, he's the most pointless,
I would imagine you were fine with the same.
- Exactly, right?
That's the one I picked.
- Dammit!
- So it's another wash, we're still like,
I think our scores are now like six scores,
something or six five, but not six.
- Yeah, something like that, so that--
- Until accidentally?
- Yeah, you're still in the league.
- Yeah, you're still in the league.
- Well, that was Triple X, David and Gail.
- Yeah, that was fine.
- I want to mentally prepare our listeners
for the fact that next week,
we're doing Triple X Return of the Andrew Cage.
- Yes.
- And then the week after that,
we're doing a non-vindiesal movie,
we're jumping to school.
- And Michelle Rodriguez, maybe, we're still in a faster period.
- Okay, okay, okay, so yeah.
- So yeah, so yeah, so, but just, you know,
if you guys are like, man, keep those vindiesal movies coming.
- Right.
- There's a finite amount of them.
- We're almost done.
- Yeah, or if you're like, God, please,
get rid of these vindies, like, we're only,
we're hitting another one.
- But I've enjoyed it, I have fun with it.
And, is your blind me exactly what someone is?
- Yeah, but it works, anyway.
Is anything you can promote for yourself,
anything you got going on with the next couple weeks?
- Yeah, man, this will probably be out after it's already been done,
but we've got, thank you five going on
over at Germantown Community Theater this Saturday.
Pretty close to selling out on that show,
so we got some Memphis locals
that are gonna be on that.
I'll be hosting that show.
I have a weekly mic that I run at Belkirk,
- Yeah.
- That is an urban consequence brewing company
every Friday night.
- We bought that one.
- And I have a monthly show that I'm co-producing
the last Saturday of every month at Flyway Brewing Company.
- Yeah, look at that.
- I'm gonna fly away.
- Do Joe's, yeah.
- Yeah, well, I've heard, I mean, I've done the fly away
whenever I saw, I know for saying that's really good,
and I know that there's every concept,
I mean, I love, we've talked about this last time,
best-crumbs soda, and,
- That's a lot of stuff.
- I love cramps soda.
- Oh, so good.
If you ever, in Memphis, on a Friday night,
go to Zach's, my favorite.
And I'm, yeah, the, the,
perform, but also get a cramps soda,
and you'll be great for the ball.
And then, but I've heard really good things about your,
it wasn't, thank you five, was that?
- Thank you five, yeah.
So this will be the third show that we're doing.
We sold out the last one, and then this one,
where, like I said, we're close to selling out.
Currently, we've only used a local Memphis talent,
but it's a quarterly show,
so Q3, Q4 this year, and into 2026,
I'll probably look to expand my roster and get,
you know, more out of town comics.
- Yeah.
- Totally come in, but still working on the dates
with that one, so, yeah, German Town Community Theater.
Follow me in Zach Williams' comedy on Instagram and TikTok.
That's where I post all my stuff, so you can follow me there.
And hear about Shurvel's what I'm doing.
- Yeah, we'll have it linked in our episode notes.
We, as always, keep up with us online.
If you're listening to the episode,
you can, you can go to the notes, click on,
"Hey, we have us," and follow us on social media,
or podcast on social media.
There's also an option to send mail,
so if, if many of you have really strong opinions
about ice cube--
- Yeah, if I got anything wrong,
we'll review this video, please, we'll--
- Yeah, just send it, send it, send it,
- Oh, well, make sure you that guess it, but listen,
I hope you guys all have a wonderful time.
Go to the advocate, and that he's subscribing.
- Oh, yeah, that's right.
You're gonna wanna subscribe to our podcast.
We have a subscription option now.
First, little is $3 a month, you'll get bonus episodes.
And at this point, we have, of course,
all the, we have a big package of bonus episodes already.
We just recently released a new one, though,
so if you remember, we just covered the Riddick series,
but we learned there was so much more about Riddick,
so we just did an episode on Dark Fury,
the animated Riddick movie, and so--
- Exactly, you're gonna, you're gonna wanna check that one out,
then-- - Oh, for sure.
I know what I'm watching, I know what I'm gonna watch.
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so let's listen, go out, eat some burgers,
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- Yeah. - Have a great life,
and love your life one quarter amount of time.
- Bye!
- Bye-bye.
(dramatic music)